Dinner at Victoria's Secret

Okay, here's the deal. The other evening we're dining at Johnny Carino's and they seat us next to a party of 9 or 10 women and 1 guy who may have had some identity issues, and it's obvious they are having dinner and a small wedding shower - we can see a number of wedding-style gift bags on the adjacent table. Their meal is ending as we begin ours, so our salads and their gifts come out at the same time. Now I am seated so that I am looking at the entire proceedings so I cannot help but see that this is a lingerie shower.

Y'all - there was more material in my napkin than in the sum aggregate of the gifts! They kept hauling these wispy little things out and holding them up and ooohing and aaahing and giggling about them and then looking to see if I was watching. I'm trying not to, but there's only so much attention you can pay to a Caesar salad; I mean after you've counted the croutons a few times there's nothing left to look at!

Now I'm not opposed to wispy lingerie -as I recall it serves a very useful purpose. I am opposed to every head turning with each opened gift to see my reaction. I thought about staring them down but there were more of them than there was of me. And I do think they crossed the line when they opened up the bag with little cop-style hat and the handcuffs.

Just one more reason to limit our eating out to Fran's and Chuy's. The only time I saw handcuffs at Chuy's was when the INS raided the kitchen and everybody was gawking then.