Monday Meanderings - June 7

Folks, you just can't make up stuff as good as happens for real here in Austin!

It seems that in the aftermath of some loony wandering around with a gun in the State Capitol building, then discharging his weapon on the south steps, the powers-that-be decided metal detectors should be installed and now entering that august building closely resembles trying to get on an airplane.

"Everything out of the pockets." Beep Beep.
 "Take off your belt." Beep Beep.
 "No, sir, you may not take your nail clippers into these hallowed halls." Beep Beep.
 "Sir, please step aside while we perform a strip search."

But there's a way to avoid all this. Carry a gun. Yes, if you are PACKING YOU CAN MARCH RIGHT IN BY WAY OF THE FAST LANE! No search. No Beep Beep. No sir. "I'm on my way to see my Representative carrying my Rick Perry Coyote Special (that's another story) AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME!" Just flash your Concealed Handgun License and sail right through. Yes, it is legal to carry a gun in the Capitol, and No, You don't have to show the actual gun to anyone! That's why they call them concealed hand guns.

The suspect logic behind this is that folks with carry permits have already been vetted; that is, among other things, they don't owe any past-due library fines and they could see over the counter at WalMart. Oh, and they have to be of sound mind. Well, who among us isn't? 

BTY, I have a good friend who teaches CHL classes who reads this blog and I'm sure he will want to counsel me on my egregious mis-characterizations of the requirements here. In my defense, Bill, this is an attempt at a humorous - if not quite entirely factual - blog.

Of course, it didn't take lobbyists and journalists and plain-old lazy citizens any time to catch on to this loophole, so the demand for CHL classes is way up - full of people who never intend to carry, but want the get-out-of-strip-search-free paper. Keep Austin Weird.

I understand that they've invented a car that runs on water! Of course, current models only support water from the Gulf of Mexico.

And for my reader who doesn't follow Facebook, this week Jana posted: "Do we have a future therapist in the house? A few nights ago at dinner, 4 year old Grace clapped her hands together in enthusiasm and said, "Ok, everyone. Tonight let's talk about what everyone is fe-e-e-ling. Let's start with Dad . . ." So we each had a turn to share our feelings--turned out to be the best thing on the menu." That's my girl!

Last week I saw a guy running along Braker Lane with a flaming torch - you know like the one they take around the world before the Olympics.  I checked the papers and there was no mention of any significant torch-carrying event - like London getting in a little practice before 2012. Maybe it was a terrorist in a clever disguise. Fooled me.