Monday Meanderings - 1.31.2011

Wow. Busy week. Westover hosted a Stream worship and renewal conference this past weekend. These conferences are a continuation of the "Stream in the Desert" sessions that Ken Young started in Midland. We went to several of those before Ken moved to the Nashville area. Since then, they have been hosted by churches across the country, and for some reason Westover thought it was our turn.

I have worked sound with Ken on several occasions, and it can be a challenging experience. That's all I have to say about that. He brought a trailer full of equipment and incorporated his system with our system and the result was a pretty loud system. More than 800 attendees for sessions on Friday night, all day Saturday and two services on Sunday. Now I have a week to put our sound system back together.

I'm not a big Starbucks fan. I just don't get it, and here's an overheard example of why:
"A latte, please."
"Would you prefer a Grande or a Venti?
"No, just a medium cup will do.:
"The Venti is our large; the Grande is our medium."
Then I guess I'll have a Grande. Why don't you call them small, medium and large? It would be a lot easier."
"Because we don't have a small size."
"Really? What's that little one over there?"
"That's a 'tall.' What kind of milk do you prefer?
"Uh, the normal stuff, I guess."
"We have 1%, 2% skim, soy, and whole."
"Uh, whole, please.

Well, this coming weekend is Super Bowl XLV. I saw a piece in the Dallas Morning News about how much interest there was in the Super Bowl being held in Texas, and that a lot of food editors and home-entertainment bloggers across the land are urging fans to concoct “Texas-themed” Super Bowl parties. They are recommending dishes such as  "chili canapes" for example. Say what? Is that just a nacho? Or "tacos made out of turkey legs cooked slowly in beer.” Excuse me?

The article goes on to say "One blogger explains that “real Texas barbecue” is produced by — it pains me to say this — baking a brisket in the oven. Another claims that the correct method for authentic guacamole calls for “2 teaspoons blue agave nectar” (or honey, in case you’re fresh out of agaves). Don’t even ask about the “Lone Star” pinto beans, baked in a gluey emulsion of maple syrup and mustard." One recipe  for “Texas queso” correctly calls for Velveeta and peppers, but also for celery (!) and sliced carrots (!!) Get a rope!

Wait. There's more.

Don’t forget the decorations: One party consultant advises that “an inflatable cactus on either side of the TV screams Texas,” and that a good way to get your Super Bowl guests in a party mood is to perform rope tricks or play recorded CDs of cowboy poetry. Why not just invite everybody to go out in the yard and shoot guns in the air?

And finally — I saved this for last, because I know it will hurt you — is an allegation so blasphemous that we need to draft an Eleventh Commandment to stamp it out: “Many Texans like to top their Frito pie with catsup.” Faugh! Not even ketchup-with-a-K, but “catsup” with that whiny Yankee spelling! Why are they spreading these dreadful lies?

 But the worst news about the upcoming Super Bowl appears to be that there is a shortage of strippers!

As preparations for Super Bowl Sunday in Dallas kick into high gear, the city is reportedly dealing with an unusual problem -- a shortage of strippers.

TMZ is reporting that clubs in the Dallas area are looking for an additional 10,000 dancers to meet the huge demand expected for the big weekend. Apparently, a comfortable tourist-to-dancer ratio during the Super Bowl is about 30-to-1.

Not to worry. I'm sure Jerry Jones has that problem covered somehow.