Weddings revisited - Stories for my grandchildren

I have been involved in a lot of weddings over the years, primarily because of a long tenure as the church "sound guy."  Here are a couple of links to some previous wedding stories:

How many weddings?
The most unusual wedding

I saw a joke on FaceBook the other day that went something like this -

At a wedding ceremony, the minister got to the point of asking if anyone present "had knowledge of any reason why this couple should not be joined in Holy Matrimony, etc., etc., ... or forever hold your peace."

At that point, a beautiful young woman carrying a tiny baby stood up in the back and approached the front. As she walked down the aisle, chaos broke out; the bride-to-be slapped the groom, the bride's mother fainted, the crowd gasped, and the groomsmen began nudging each other.

When the woman and the infant reached the front, the minister asked her to state why she had come forward.

Her reply -- "I can't hear in the back."

They don't ask that question anymore - at least not in ceremonies that I attend, but back in my college days a friend got married and asked me to come to the wedding and sit beside his mother. My job: when the minister asked the "any objections" question, make sure Mom did not stand up. I wasn't exactly sure how I was going to do this, but fortunately, the moment passed without a response from Mom and the wedding proceeded as planned.