Monday Meandering - 2.6.2017

Fake news struck a little too close for comfort this past week. There were a number of items on various news feed that proclaimed bacon was in short supply. The alarming headlines came quickly Wednesday morning: “Now It’s Getting Serious: 2017 Could See a Bacon Shortage.” “Nation’s bacon reserves hit 50-year low as prices rise.” “Everyone Freak Out! America Is Running Low on Bacon."

Alarming news, indeed. But it was all fake. Turns out that the panic was caused by misinterpreting news about pork belly futures. Not that one can be very clear about that commodity, anyway. Nevertheless, I'm relieved.

I ordered a mattress over the Internet this past week. Sight unseen. Not even a 5-minute trial at a showroom. To be sure, it was highly rated by Consumer's Report, and there appear to be thousands of favorable reviews, and it's sort of a "can't lose" deal.

After clicking on "Yes, send that sucker" the FedEx guy shows up barely 24 hours later with a box about the size of an old-fashioned cedar chest. Open the box and pull out a mattress bundle, all wrapped in plastic with the air sucked out. Position it on the box springs and carefully slice open the plastic seal-a-meal wrapper and WHOOOSH! You have a full-size mattress on your bed!

You get to sleep on your new mattress for 100 nights, and if you decide it's not the one for you, call the company and they will arrange for the Salvation Army, or charity of your choice, to pick it up and then they refund 100% of the cost.

Of all the weddings I have participated in over the years, this weekend brought a first. A bilingual wedding. Two ministers officiated, one speaking English and the other speaking Spanish. The vows were repeated in both languages, the homily, even the "You may now kiss your bride" was spoken (and performed)  twice. I wonder if that means that the couple is married twice? Or at least, more married than than the usual couple? IMWTK