Chronicle's "Best of Austin" issue

Austin has two newspapers; the ultra-conservative Statesman, and the decidedly off-beat, far to the left of left-wing Chronicle. There are many, many differences in the two papers - daily + Sunday vs. weekly; it costs more than $200 a year to subscribe to the Statesman vs the Chronicle is free; one endorsed Bush, the other endorsed Leslie. I think you get the picture.

Annually the Chronicle publishes their Best of Austin list and it promotes those places the readers say best represent what's good about Austin - you know, Best Hotel, Best Park, Best Man. I made that last one up. And I think the Chronicle made up some of them too. Get a load of the some of Bests this year:

• Best Tolls for Thee (David Chapel Baptist church bells)
• Best Library Name (Ana Sisnett Library, UT Gender and Sexuality Center)
• Best Old School South of the River (Fulmore Jr. High)
• Best Jukebox (Casino el Camino)
• Best Dive Bar without a Sign (Bernadette's)
• Best Local Food Blog (not this one)
• Most Underrated Breakfast Tacos (Julio's)
• Best Bacon (Full English)
• Best Chip Shop Currey Sauce (Bits and Druthers)

And the list goes on for another 40 pages. I've lived in Austin 40 years, and the only name listed above that I recognize is Fulmore. And that remains true for most of the bests listed in the rest of the issue. How is that possible? Simple. There are actually three Austins; the one I live in and the one that holds events like SXSW, Pecan Street Festival, Republic of Texas Motorcycle Rally, ACL Fest, packs 6th street every Halloween (200,000 on a good year) and crawls the Pub District every weekend. The third one? South of the River.
Oh, wait! There's the University of Austin and the Domain of Austin, and the Barton Springs of Austin. and the West Lake Hills of Austin.

I am a pilgrim in a strange land.