Serve Out

Amazingly, it is the end of another month. Usually, I drag out all the bizarre photos that have accumulated in the inner recesses of my computer, but this time I think I'll recycle some of the newspaper articles that I have clipped and stuck on the wall.

Like the one about the middle-aged white couple seen stealing political signs in the Austin area. Not all that unusual for one party to vandalize another party's signage, but these two seem apolitical - they are taking all of the signs from all candidates that they can get their hands on. The printed portion, the wooden stakes, the metal rods - it's all being scooped up. Police are looking for a house under construction using recycled materials.

Speaking of signs, how about the prank brought to you by the letter 'T' and the students at Georgia Tech? The letter 'T' is disappearing from signs all over campus, costing the school more than $100,000 in repairs. Officials at the school are asking students to knock it off. Undergraduate President Elle Creel says the tradition of stealing the 'T' off Tech Tower began in the 1960s. But this new ritual involves taking a 'T' from everything from stadium signs to book return bins in front of the campus library. Student leaders recently launched an amnesty program to try and retrieve some of the letters.

Did you see that PETA wanted Turkey, Texas to change the town's name to Tofurkey, Texas? That's a contraction of Tofu and Turkey, a vegan alternative, if you didn't get it. The mayor of Turkey, Pat Carson, was not too receptive to the idea. And shortly after, the owners of Pork Barrel BBQ, a barbecue sauce company, offered the town $1,000 and part of the company's web site profits to briefly change the name to  Barbecue, Texas. Apart from being the home of Bob Wills, the little town of Turkey hasn't got a lot going for it; maybe auctioning off the name is a good idea.

Or did you hear about the wild turkey that smashed through a plate glass window at an empty restaurant near Pittsburgh, PA. and ended up where millions of its fellow gobblers did on Thanksgiving: a dining room? Penn Hills police said the feathered fowl didn't survive impact when it barreled into the dining room of the Eat'n Park on Thursday afternoon. The restaurant was closed at the time. Obviously the turkey's escape plan didn't work out as planned.

Several possible victims have come forward alleging a woman posing as a Florida doctor and promising buttocks enhancement pumped their behinds with a toxic concoction of, well, cement, superglue and flat-tire sealant, state health officials said Tuesday. It gets stranger -

Oneal Ron Morris — who police say was born a man and identifies as a woman — was arrested Friday after nearly a year of being sought and charged with practicing medicine without a license with serious bodily injury. Authorities say a victim who was looking to get a job at a nightclub and wanted a curvier figure paid Morris $700 for the injections in 2010. Morris allegedly used some type of tubing and injected the toxic chemicals into her backside during a painful procedure. You think?

And all the violence surrounding Black Friday shopping became so common it was no longer an unusual news item. Tasers, pepper spray, clubs - it used to be credit cards that you shouldn't leave home without.

How about the guy in Lubbock who had to be rescued from the chimney of his house? He said he wasn't trying to be Santa Claus. He was just locked out of his house and wanted to save the price of a locksmith, so decided to enter the house through the chimney as his wife and child waited outside around 1 a.m. Monday. The man's wife called 911 after he became stuck and firefighters hauled him out uninjured about an hour later. Ho, ho, ho.

And I'm sorry to report that Frosty the Snowman got arrested in Maryland. Maybe "Surly the Snowman" would be a better name for a costumed man accused of getting out of hand at a Christmas parade. Police in Chestertown, on Maryland's Eastern Shore arrested a man dressed as "Frosty the Snowman" on Saturday after he allegedly fought with a cop and kicked at a police dog. Kevin Michael Walsh became agitated when a dog-handling officer tried to escort him away from the crowd. It's unclear what prompted police to redirect Walsh in the first place, but cops claim that the suspect allegedly hit one officer in the face with the head from his Frosty costume and pushed another cop who tried to put him in a patrol car. Nothing in your stocking this year, Frosty.

Stay sane, my friends. The hard part is still ahead of us.