On getting one's carpets cleaned...

A year and some months ago we replaced the living room and master bedroom carpet. As part of the negotiations, we signed up for "extended care" which means that once a year someone comes and cleans the carpet. "You don't have to do anything; in a year someone will call and set up the appointment."

A year and some months later, we still had not received the call, so I dropped by the Home Depot where all this took place and inquired as to the status of my carpet cleaning.

Young man at the desk: "Oh, you need to call and set this up."

Older man at the desk: "No, you need to make that call. Look 'em up. (To me) Here, have a doughnut."

Woman clerk who made the original sale: "Yes, you were supposed to call."

Me: "No, you told me they would call. I don't know who to call."

Woman: "Here, I've got the number. Call this number."

Older man: "You should make that call. Just pick up that phone and call them. Sure you won't have a doughnut?"

Woman: "Hello, Chem Clean? This is Home Depot, I have a customer with CCEP and we need to set up the 1st cleaning. I need to call who? Do you have that number? Okay, I'll look it up."

Older man: "Are you watching your weight? I've got the solution to that problem. Cinnamon Tablets!

Woman: "Hello, this is Home Depot. I need to set up a cleaning for a customer with CCEP. What registration number? I don't have a registration number - all I have is the order number. No, you didn't give me a registration number. You've never given me a registration number for any of these."

Older Man: "Two cinnamon tablets after every meal. It oxidizes the nutrients and fremulates the gastricity."

Woman: "Of course I'm sure. I've been doing this for years and I've never received a registration number. I know what the agreement says, I have to sell it, so I read it word for word!"

Young Man: "Ya'll don't need me do you?"

 Woman: "I can't  look that up! It's been more than a year and that file has been purged."

Older Man: "It is a crying shame that no one wants to do a good job any more! This country is going to the dogs!"

Woman: "Well, what do you want me to do? The customer purchased this service; he wants his carpets cleaned! Wait, the customer brought his copy of the order. I can fax it to you."

Older Man: "You know what it says on our money? It says 'In God we trust.' They just ought to wipe that right off!:

Woman: "After you receive the copy, are you going to call the customer? It's on the order I'm going to fax you! Okay, then call me!

Young Man: "Are you going to eat that doughnut?"

Woman: "It will be how long? Three days? Then what? You'll give me a registration number and then I call the cleaning crew?" Unintelligible muttering follows.

Older Man: "George, over in paint started taking cinnamon tablets and he lost 40 pounds in 40 days."

Woman (to me): "I'm going to take this up front to fax it and I'll be right back."

Older Man (leaving): "Good luck."

Young man (coming back after several minutes have passed): "Are there any doughnuts left?"

Me (much later): "Hello? Anyone? Anyone?"