More police blotter goodies

Last week I re-posted some items from the Lufkin Police blotter, as reported in the Texas Monthly Daily Post. Now it seems that folks in Wise County, north-west of Fort Worth, claim their police blotter is as weird as that of Lufkin. You be the judge; here are 22 items from the Wise County Messenger since last November:

April 22
“Several residents stopped a woman and chastised her because she had been speeding down the road.”

April 20
“A couple going through a break-up called the Sheriff’s Office to help them mediate their disagreements.”

April 18
“A homeowner in Boonsville reported that he found a bottle of rubbing alcohol and the remnants of a small fire made out of twigs on the floor in his shed. He had no idea how they got there.”

April 4
“In the latest episode of an ongoing dispute between neighbors, one of them tossed a dead rat at the other one and went inside.”

April 3
“A couple living in Briar got into an argument over baking flour.”

March 27
“A man returned to his home in Poolville after being gone for several days to discover a cat locked in one of the rooms. He also noticed that the microwave door was mysteriously open.”

March 16
“A boy at a home in Chico had ‘cold hot chocolate’ thrown at him after he mouthed off to his mother’s boyfriend.”

March 9
“A family got into an argument over a son’s lifestyle choices.”

February 21
“Cigarettes and a dog grooming kit were burglarized from a trailer home.”

February 13
“A man reported that his neighbor spilled paint all over his porch. The neighbors said it was just an accident, and they’ll clean it up.”

February 5
“A man got into an argument with his son because the boy is lazy.”

January 28
“A man reported that someone drove by his truck and looked at it.”

January 22
“A property owner was upset because a neighbor drives around on their land looking for cows that wandered off.”

January 6 brought a trio of crimes involving ungulates:
“Unknown suspects placed a dead goat in the bed of a pickup and stole a spare tire from the vehicle while it was parked at Paradise High School.”
“A woman reported that her neighbor’s dog killed her sheep.”
“A woman’s goat was killed by her neighbor’s dogs.”

January 2
“A woman reported that a delivery driver stole her house cat.”

December 26
“Two geese were stolen.”

December 19
“A woman purchased cows, and she said the wrong cows were delivered to her farm.”

December 17
“What was first believed to be a burglary at a residence was simply a case of toys being stored out of place.”

December 8
“A man reported that his mother was harassing his Realtor.”

December 6
“A woman reported that her husband was in possession of child pornography. After further investigation, it turned out to only be a collection of Penthouse and Hustler magazines.”