If you have been following this blog you know I'm now using a CPAP machine to prevent Obstructive Sleep Apnea. Yes, I've had a lot to say about that subject lately, but if you slept with something strapped to your face and connected with a hose to a leaf blower, you would too. It's a big deal.
In Part II, I described how I had switched to a full face mask. That proved to be an unmitigated disaster. Facial hair may have had something to do with it, but the bottom line is that about every hour and a half, the mask would have a "blow out." Under normal operation, the mask is "sealed" to your face by the air pressure; with a blow out, the in-coming air just lifts the mask off and sounds like Old Faithful.
So I'm back to the mask that stuffs silicon "pillows" up your nose and injects air directly into your sinuses. But you may recall that the problem there is that if your mouth comes open while you are asleep, all the air escapes (loudly) and by morning you end up with your tongue super-glued to the roof of your mouth, not to mention a lack of therapeutic benefit.
The erst-while solution to the open mouth is a chin strap. Something that looks like this:
That would be a good idea except for feeling like the principal character in The Man in the Iron Mask when you strap this puppy on. And it is by no means fool-proof.
So here's the part about getting rich. All we have to do is come up with some comfortable fool-proof, non-permanent way to keep one's mouth shut while sleeping. I think we have to rule out glue, tape and needles and thread, but I'm open to almost anything else.
I've done the hard part. I already have a name for the product: "I'll Shut My Mouth Now," which was Job's response to the Lord's pointed and humbling questions at the end of that bible story. So, all we need now is the product itself. Let me know what you come up with - I'm going to be busy setting up the web site.
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