What's a little phobia among friends? Stories for my grandchildren

Ophidiophobia [N.]

(ō-fid'ē-ō-fō'bē-ă),

Morbid fear of snakes.

[G. ophidion, a small snake, + phobos, fear]

I was reminded of this particular phobia the other night when a local newscaster could not stand to watch a news segment that featured... snakes. Lots of snakes. His partner narrated the news item, and when she was done, there was a pause and she said, "Okay. You can open your eyes now." The poor man was obviously in distress, and I thought "I have seen this reaction before."

Atkins Wright was my high-school Sunday School teacher. He lived a few miles west town on the Albany highway, ranched for a living, had 2 lovely daughters, went by the name "Fatboy," rather than Atkins, and was terrified of snakes.

Everyone knew about Fatboy's fear; he once got a letter addressed simply, "Mr. Ophidiophobia, Breckenridge, Texas." Mind you, he was a rancher in West Texas and encountered snakes regularly. In a controlled situation, he could deal with them, but it was dangerous to be near Fatboy if he was surprised by a snake sighting.

Once he and his brother were out repairing fences and his brother picked up a little grass snake, intending to find an appropriate (and safe) time to frighten Fatboy with the critter. He stuffed it into his shirt pocket - and forgot about it. Later, they were headed back to town, Fatboy driving, and the little snake poked its head out of the pocket. Atkins looked over, saw it and simply opened the door and stepped out of the pickup. It put him in the hospital, wrecked the pickup, and didn't do his brother any good either. I have no idea how the snake fared.

One evening, the story goes, he was unloading a horse from a trailer in the barn behind the house and heard, or perhaps he heard, a snake. He ran over the horse on his way to the back door and pulled the screen door off its hinges in  his haste to get inside. When he came back, armed and ready to face the snake, the horse was still down, trying to catch his breath.

I'm not surprised. I once actually witnessed an incident where someone approached Fatboy with one of those phony, articulated snakes. Sort of like this one.

 Phony snake found by my sister while cleaning closets. No, it's not mine.

Atkins was seated at the time in a straight-back chair, feet on the floor. When he saw the snake, he made a standing vertical leap (remember, there was a reason he was called Fatboy) and had the chair held up in front of him by the time his feet hit the floor!

So the guy on the newscast might not like snakes, but he was still seated when the story was over. No comparison.