Someone should write a book on “How to Retire”

No, I’m not talking about the “How Much Money Do You Really Need?” or the “Ten Financial Traps to Avoid in Retirement” though that is important information. I’m not even talking about “How to Navigate the Social Security/Medicare/Insurance Parts A through ZZ Morass” though goodness knows that would be extremely useful. I’m talking about a book that helps you know how you are supposed to feel and act after you retire.

Now off the top of your head, that would seem like a no-brainer, but I think it might be a short book:

Chapter 1. Stop Going to the Office.

Chapter 2. Now What?

It’s that first item that gets you – the part about going to the office, or to the classroom, or to the jobsite. See, for most of us – to one degree or another – that’s what has defined us for the last 40 plus years. That’s where we got our validation, or our purpose, or our direction, or our identity, or all of the above. We were a teacher, or a programmer, or a minister or something! Now we are… retired. Now what?

And it’s not just “What do I do with my time now?” It’s more like “What am I now?” Even though I stay home four days a week now, I still think of myself more an employee than a retiree; it’s hard to break that habit. But it feels different now. I no longer attend staff meetings so I no longer know the status of every project – I don’t even know what the projects are anymore. I don’t attend the planning meetings now – I’m lucky if I get told the plans at all. I no longer get any affirmation that I am an important part of RSI. That’s because I’m not. Twenty years of dedicated work not withstanding, I am now a for-hire contractor, along with Anuij, Deepa, and Madj. Hi, I’m Bobba Guru.

At first I joked with my coworkers about how Thursday, was really my Friday, but I’m a little embarrassed to do that now. There’s just so much work to be done that I really feel guilty about getting up and leaving for my long week-end, like I’m not doing my fair share. Hello! What part of cutting back do you not understand? Maybe it would be better if I didn’t go to work at all, but that brings up other issues, like money. Contracting is lucrative. I joke that if I had known how lucrative, I would have done this a long time ago. But the reality is I find that I miss being a valued employee. Mom addressed this issue by immediately enrolling in Austin Grad and embracing a new identity as a student and scholar and theologian. I’m still working it out. Then too, she’s never been as paranoid as I am.

And speaking of paranoia, where is the chapter about letting go of what you have worked so hard to save? I mean, we can’t spend our money for foolish and frivolous things, like trips and doing things we enjoy! We might run out, and then where would we be? On our children’s doorstep, that’s where! I can hear it now – the sound of frantic searching for just such a book as I’m describing.

And then there really is the issue of what to do with your time. That’s been sharpened in focus recently by something going on at church. But that’s for another time.

Let me know if you find any good books.