It all started with our searching for - and finding - a bird feeder that was not squirrel-friendly. It's bad enough that the birds could empty a feeder in a matter of hours, but the squirrel could do it in minutes! When we told the man at Home Depot what were looking for he suggested we visit the shotgun department at Wal-Mart, but we finally did find a spring-loaded feeder that discouraged Mr. Squirrel so much he finally stopped trying.
What he did then was stand out in the backyard and chunk pecans at the patio window. At least we think that's what the thumps were that we kept hearing. When he saw that was ineffective, he took the ultimate squirrel revenge - and early one morning chewed through the alarm wire for the patio door.
This was effective. One Sunday morning about 6am that sucker fired off and began to wake the dead, let alone those just sleeping. And what, might you ask, is one's response to the intrusion alarm going off at 95 decibels on a peaceful Sunday morning? Why, it's to leap out of bed and run frantically around the house in one's underwear - a move guaranteed to frighten any would-be intruder into immediate flight! It certainly worked, because we found no intruders, but we did find a thoroughly chewed wire outside the back patio door.
A visit to our favorite do-it-yourself store provided metal wire chases that we used to cover and protect the exposed wiring and once again Mr. Squirrel was defeated. Until he finally gnawed away enough of the wooden block that covered where the wire went into the attic, pulled a foot or so out, and cleanly chomped through the alarm wire again. Now back then, we had decided that we would rather be murdered in our bed than to endure another middle-of-the night fright (not to mention the very real risk of any intruder breaking a leg or something when they fell over from a laughing fit caused by the sight of me running around the house in my unawares) so we only noticed the problem when we tried to set the alarm as we were leaving the house the other morning.
The wire has been patched, I've taken my sisters advice and stuffed steel wool all around the wooden block and as a last resort I've added the ultimate weapon in the squirrel wars. Take a look:
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9 comments:
rofl
This is so funny - I laughed and laughed. I've been at war with the squirrels for years. Currently the squirrels are eating the birdseed and the half grown pecans. The birds are eating the wild grapes from the vines.
I have concluded it's easier to feed the squirrels bird food than have them eat my tropical hibiscus and other flowers.
My daughter says she's going to send Ken over to get rid of them the way her father would. She wants pecans. She doesn't know it's hopeless.
Dear Deda:
That squirrel movie was so funny I couldn't stop laughing. That squirrel just kept getting up in the bowl and slung out again. How many times did he get up in there?
I just couldn't stop laughing.
Love,
Luke
Dear Luke,
I don't know if that was the same squirrel over and over again (in which case he wasn't very smart, was he?) or if all of his buddies had to come over and try out the new ride.
Deda
Oh my word!!! I am hysterical. Retirement has left you with too much spare time. I pray that PETA doesn't find your house. Maybe the sewerline ditch will serve as a protective moat.
I gave up a long time ago and accepted the squirrels along with the raccoons and o'possums. However, I refuse to accept the coyote. I have to draw the line somewhere or just any old animal will be moving into the neighborhood!!
Should I be concerned that Luke just came in and asked where we keep our colander?
This is hilarious - I especially like the shot where you can see the little squirrel body flying off alone through the area.
I kept looking for the "no squirrels were harmed in the making of this film" banner, but never did see it...
from Jacob:
I really liked the squirrel movie. All except for the part where the squirrel got shot off, because I thought the squirrel might have got hurt. It was funny other than that. Like, when he crawled up into the basket, and a second later he shot out.
from Julie: he takes after his mother, you know.
Jacob,
You know, I keep wondering if it's the same squirrel in all the pictures. If that's the case, then we know he wasn't hurt. In fact, he kept coming back to ride the catapault again and again!
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