The great, late Memorial Day garage cleanout

Okay, ya'll - we were busy playing with grand kids on Memorial day, so of course we had to postpone the family tradition of cleaning out the garage on this holiday. Plus, bulk garbage pickup starts Monday so this was the weekend to get 'er done.

Turns out we didn't have all that much for bulk pickup (large objects only, please) but we did have a lot of stuff to pack up and take to Goodwill; mostly remnants of a long teaching career. Lots of toys that our grand kids have outgrown; lots of household items that were just gathering dust.



I do have a bit of bad news for the boys -- the little Moon Buggy is no longer with us. We laughed about Jerichos's first trip down the driveway on the buggy. I don't know whose eyes were bigger - his or ours as we saw him bearing down on the cars in the garage!

And I have to go on record that Mom did the majority of the work; I mistakenly took full credit for the clean up on Facebook, which I deeply regret.

Unfortunately, we only were able to deal with two out of three shelves in the garage. There is another one that might need a teensy bit of attention. Next Memorial Day. I wish.

Love the visit - not fond of the drive

Up front I'll tell you that the 7+ hour drive to Lubbock and the 7+ hour drive home is not my favorite thing to do, even if we do get to try to count the hundreds & hundreds of new wind turbines. But it sure is sweet to visit there!

Could not have asked for a better week-end, weather-wise. Showers in the area kept the temperatures pleasantly cool, but it never rained on us once we got there.

Could not have asked for a better week-end eating wise. Rob's mastery of the grill, Jana's peach cobbler and some favorite eating places made it delightful. Rob has inspired me to consider getting a grill myself.

Could not have had more fun playing with the kids. Sharing Luke's excitement about surpassing 500 AR points and watching Grace as a make-believe princess was precious. Spending time with Rob, Jana and the kids even more so.

And Lubbock even provided a convenient all-night pharmacy when we needed one at 4am!

Grace the ballerina in her princess dress

Grace and Mom share a moment over a good book



Luke and Grace love their Daddy!

Monday Meanderings

On the way to work the other morning I watched some Bozo try to shoot the gap across 2 lanes of traffic - into my lane. He clipped one of the cars ahead of him and ended up stopped - in my lane. I managed to avoid him and then the clipper and the clipee started pulling to the side of the road to inspect the damage when the clipper took off. The clipee took off after him and I watched them disappear around the corner as I sat there and wondered if I could just stay home from now on and not play in the traffic. I guess not.

Speaking of staying home, you've noticed that gasoline is on its way back up. On the way to supper the other night I noticed the corner station was still at $2.15 while others were higher than that, so I thought it would be best to go ahead and fill up on this outing. We ate, went by the library and came back to find the price of gas at the corner station was now $2.25. He who hesitates pays $1.40 more for a tank of gas.

Now that the bird feeders are by a window we have more mid-window collisions; usually by the doves, who I have decided are not the brightest birds in the nest. But the other night - long after the birds are in bed - something really large hit the patio window. Mom and I both jumped about a foot in the air. Never found out what it was, but if it was a bird I can add ostrich or emu to the bird list.

And just what is the name of this company - and do you suppose they want a discount from the sign company?

Things you can get free from the city...

If you ask politely the City of Austin will give you free of charge...

1. Toilets - up to 3 and they pay part of the installation charge if you hire a plumber.
2. Programmable thermostats (but they have a mind of their own)
3. Insulation, weather stripping and solar screens
   
4. Sprinkler system rain cutoff devices.
   
5. Rain barrels
6. Shower heads
   
7. Trees. But they cut down one of yours first. The ones under the power lines.

Let's talk about numbers 1 and 7.

Who could resist free toilets? I mean, if nothing else you could use them for planters! Well, maybe the neighborhood is not to that point yet, but I'm just saying. And I'm seriously looking into this. The toilets are, of course, the very low water usage type - 1.28 gallons per flush. But that's the attraction. We pay more for water than we do for electricity. And when Mom and I are home all day... Well, let's just say that "two kidneys and no bladder" is an apt family description.

The problem is I talked to a plumber and he says he charges the same to put in a - pardon the French - crappy toilet as he does a good toilet and as far as toilets go, you get what you pay for. But all is not lost. The City will rebate $200 each on the toilet of your choice from an approved list. But nothing on the list comes close to $200. And then there's the plumber, who may be happier but charges the same. Hmm. More on this later.

Free trees? I've talked about what a jungle it is in our back yard. The City agrees and a little man came around and looked things over and asked for our permission to trim some back there. Now this is tree-hugging Austin we are talking about here. Every tree over 9" in diameter in Austin has a little ID tag with a number. Our pecan out front is #63409. I kid you not. There are some big old trees near Barton Springs that are falling-down dangerous and the City wants to take them out and replace them with some newer models and we've got candle-light vigils and folks chaining themselves to the trees! Not in my backyard!

Me? I'm happy that they want to clear some of that jungle out. Better them than me. So Mom said of course you can and then they sent a Forest Ranger - maybe that was just a Forester - out and he made up a plan and put it in the computer and now we have a print out of the 5 trees they are going to prune and the 5 trees they are going to remove (smallish Hackberrys started from bird droppings under the lines; they should have checked out item #1 above). But we will get 3 free trees from a list of 18 different varieties well-suited for our area. Unfortunately they are 5 gallon trees, and we have to plant them ourselves and while we are eligible for 5 trees the Forester said we didn't have that much room for trees unless we put them under the power lines and you know where that's going.

I love the City of Austin. Free blog material.

Monday Meanderings

Thursday was my 2-year Blogaversary. Two hundred and forty posts and counting. Thank you, Google Empire for keeping up with these things.

If you know me you know that I long ago lost my sense of smell. There are times when I cannot smell gasoline. And there are times - especially after asthma episodes - when I've been pumped full of steroids and antibiotics - that I can smell everything in the county. This is one of those times and it's been consistent for about a month now. I could get used to this. It does have its down side though. Like the woman in the grocery store who evidently bathes in her cologne. Wow!

Those of you who live in the Central Valley of California probably don't want to know that the high in Austin is expected to be about 75 degrees today. No, I didn't think so.

This pretty little plant came to our house as a Mother's day gift. It's a Phalaenopsis Orchid, which is supposed to be an easy orchid to care for. We shall see about that.

The Doss Letters - The Conclusion

This letter is from Elizabeth to her oldest daughter Cora and husband John Hall, still in Kentucky. It recounts the events of the trip home from Dallas after the arrival of Elizabeth and the girls. The excitement and fatigue proved too much for C. L., and they were forced to stop and seek help from the nearest source along the way. George McFall, a thin man with a sweeping white beard ushered them into his home near Wheatland in Tarrant County, and he and his wife Sallie immediately began to care for C. L, in keeping with Southern hospitality.

The letter is largely without punctuation. Some has been added for readability, along with some capitalization. It is lengthy, but it is the most important letter of the set.

Stubble Field. Johnson County. Tx, June 26th 1878

John, Tommie, Cora and my sweet little ones. I have been wanting to write to you ever since we got to Wills. We got here last Frid. night. I think this is the sixth time that I’ve written to you since I left Ky. I sent a card the 18th inst just after Pap died. If you have not been getting my letters and cards this will fall heavily on you. All was done that could be done to save him. Dr Wright said that he had no constitution to build on and that he could not take him through a regular course of medicine. Still I dont think that Wright considered him dangerous until Monday morning before he died Wednesday. I sent for Wright and Dr Armstrong. I was not willing to risk any one physician. Wright dreaded his bowels from the first still they were not much inclined to run off, but his liver did not act after the first three or four days. He did not complain at all. He did not have money with him to pay our expenses Dr bills and so on, and it troubled him all the time. He would talk to Mr McFall and Dr Wright about it they both urged him not to think a care about that, that they were willing to do all they could for him and us and were perfectly easy with regard to the pay. We could not have been better situated, not even with our children. Mr and Mrs McFall spared no trouble, no pains and no expense to wait on pap and see that he had every attention. Mrs Mc would come to our room at all times of the night. She’d come when I was asleep and give pap medicine. They would send to Dallas and get little things they thought he might like and refuse pay when offered to them.
On Monday after we stopped there I sent a note to Will to bring a wagon and come after us and some one come to drive our wagon as we did not expect pap to be able to drive. John Cotton and John Johnston came Wednes. Fannie was just getting over a spell of billious fever and Will could not leave her. We sent everything on by them, Sophia and Alice went too. I kept Mollie to help me wait on pap as I was almost past going with my feet and legs they were so swelled like they used to be, and I thought that she could assist Mrs Mc some and maybe lessen her board. And I did not feel like I wanted to be left alone no how. Mr McFall had no one to help him but hired hands. He had four boys with him, and they lost in all ten days going to Dallas for the Drs and to Johnson Co. 40 miles. He offered to send for Will and Fannie. There was no attention that we didn’t get. Mrs Mc would often say “If there is anything on this plantation that Mr Doss wants he shall have it” Of course they had a great deal more company than if we had not been there. Well on Thursday morning, before we left the next morning, I told Mr McFall to make out his account against us and we would collect the money and send it to him. He said that he had no account against us. When I sent for Will and the rest on Mond. before pap died on Wednes. Will tried to collect some money expecting that we would need it, but he did not have time to look round much, and did not get any, So he talked to Mr Mc about the burial expenses. He told Mr Mc that there was money coming but that he had not time to collect it but he would give him a bill of sale for his mule. He told Will that he did not have much money but that he had a plenty for that purpose and that he would get what was needed if he knew that he would never get a cent for it. Only for the coffin which was $14. Mr Mc put one of his shirts on pap his own were not done up nice and he said he did not want pay for it. I told him that we had been a great expense to him, that we had boarded on him two weeks, that they had a great deal of trouble on our account, that he had hired hands and they had lost so much time for us and I would not be satisfied to take it all and not pay him something. He said that if I thought I’d be better satisfied I might pay him $3.00 for the time his hands lost and that when it suited me. Just any time would do - not to be in a hurry. Mr Tillington who lived near was just as clever as Mr Mc. Mr Mc was before the war a wealthy planter of Louisiana, but he like the most of them had lost his negroes and was ruined twice by overflow. He owns 400 acres of prairie land where he now lives they have no children, lost the last one.
I do not think pap thought he would get well. He said once “By good nursing and management we will get away by Sunday but without it we will get off sooner” When the boys came for us he said to take all his old clothes shoes &c, and he told Mollie to brush up his best clothes. He had taken such good care of his clothes that they were nice enough to bury him in. One thing I regret we could not get any gloves. Mr Mc sent for the coffin in the evening and the boys did not get to Dallas until late in the night when all the stores were closed and they could not get in. pap told Dr Wright to do all that he could for him that he wanted to live for the sake of his family. After he commenced taking medicine he seemed to grow sleepy and sluggish and did not seem to suffer at all. He would mutter and talk in his sleep and at times he would rouse up and appear to be almost entirely at himself but as time wore on he became less and less rational and for several days before he died he was almost unconscious of anything. The day before we looked for Will and Fannie I told him that I thought they would come to see him [I had not told him that I had sent for them] tomorrow. He brightened up and said “all right I’ll be glad to see them” The Dr expected the disease to settle on the brain and that he would be raving but just the contrary. He died as calmly as if falling asleep. When Will, Sophia and Alice came I told him they had come and Will went to him and spoke to him but I don’t think that he was conscious of anything that was said. I have no idea that he knew they were there. He did not seem to be glad to see Alice he never kissed her at all.
Still I believe that the excitement about our coming and the dread of accidents and so on together with fatigue brought on his headache. Aunt C. told me that she never saw anyone make friends as fast as he did. She said “why he just charmed them” He told her that he wanted Alice to have his trunk and if it were not for Ma “He’d want Fannie to raise Alice” and he remarked to her that he longed to rest in the grave. I’m at Wills or at Anderson’s they have gone west. They may not stay here when they come back. If they do not they will want Will and Fannie to keep house for them and there will be room for us too. Still I think I can get a house to myself. I don’t know what to do yet. I dread to go to ourselves. I don’t see how I can stand it. Could it be arranged for Tommie to come as soon as the corn is laid by and if so would it be best? I’ve no doubt he could get plenty of work to do. I wish that he were here now. Still I’ll not try to hurry him. I got a letter from Aunt Martha written to pap. I suppose that he had written to her that we were coming to see her this summer. She was so well pleased with the prospect of our coming. I wrote a letter to her yesterday telling her all. Jim Hix, Aunt Sophia, Alice, Greenbury and Oscar came last Sat. evening and stayed till Sun. even. They heard at dinner of our trouble and started right off. Mr H. has not changed much but Sophia does not favor herself one particle. Not in one single particular. I gazed and looked trying to detect the least favor of the old Sophia I once knew but failed. I felt like I was almost sorry that I had seen her at all. She is very stately and dignified but not the old Sophia I parted with 24 years ago. When I sent for the children the last time that pap could not live Fannie had not quite recovered from her spell and not being able to go see him she was almost crazy and as I feared she relapsed and had to send for the Dr again. She is mending slowly very slowly but I think with care she will get well without further trouble. She can’t set up long at a time. She looks poor and pale more so than you ever saw her. Aunt C appears very clever. She urges me and Alice to come and stay with her till fall. She has a sow to give me when I get time. Alice is wanting to go back to Ky. Grandma would work a whole day to get one sweet kiss from any one of the little ones. Tell them not to forget Grandma. Will said he would walk 25 miles through the hot sun to see Maggie. Tell her so.

Ma

Tommie write to your ma. We’ve not heard from you since we left.

Maggie, for whom Will would walk 25 miles in the hot sun, was my grandmother Bramblett, daughter of Cora and John. She recalled, “That letter came when I was four. I remember Mother sitting on the edge of the bed and reading the letter aloud. When she finished the last line she lay across the bed and cried brokenheartedly. Because I had never seen Mother weep, I was deeply impressed. That is one of my first memories.”

The Doss Letters - Part 3

Just in case he had not made himself clear.


Johnson County, Texas
May the 24th 1878

Ma,
I started last Monday two post office money-orders to John (Hall:) - one calling for $50; the other for $10. I have left about $30, and there is a constant drain on that. I don’t expect any more till cotton picking time.
At the same time I started the money, I started to you two voluminous letters of directions. Your tickets will show you what roads you must pass over (or what routes you must take.) They, no doubt, will be like mine (and like I wrote you.) One item more. At Texarkana you inquire for the “Texas and Pacific” train that goes to Dallas and Ft. Worth. There is a branch “Texas and Pacific” road that goes to Sherman. Your road goes by the way of [Jefferson] and [Marshall] and Long View. One of those enclosed thus [ ] you may not go by, but you go by Long View,
There is a branch road from Long View but you keep your eye on Dallas, and you will be all right. Will and Fanny say that they never changed cars from Texarkana to Ft. Worth, I have no doubt this is so. If you make it to Texarkana you can make it through. If you get on the wrong road, get back the best you can and try again!

Pap

The Doss Letters - Part 2

The second letter reveals an almost overwhelming anxiety about the trip. If you have not seen the first letter, it is here. Again, I have transcribed it exactly as it was written.

Saturday May 18th, 1878 (Johnson County, Texas)

Ma, [This is continued in John's letter]

I send you, in a registered letter and addressed to John, $60. This is amply sufficient to bring you to Dallas. The fare from Bowling Green to Dallas, Will says, is $21.40 cts. - for a whole ticket. According to that, from the Junction will cost $22.35 cts. Couldn't Mentz send to Bowling Green, or Glasgow, and get your tickets before you start? If you start without a full ticket, when you get to Bowling Green inquire for the "Ticket Ofice." Anybody can tell you where it is. By looking in at the door, you can see whether you are right or not and where to apply. You will only have about 15 or 20 minutes to get your tickets in, so you mustn't exercise too much dignity, but get your tickets and get your seats in the cars. In all cases if you can, get seats near the middle of the coach. I am almost certain that the train that brings you to Bowling Green goes in to Nashville, and another train takes its place on the track. This is always the case when you change cars, I think. Of course, you can inquire "Where is the Memphis train?" or "Which is the Memphis train?" and so of other places (and trains.) Any of the employees of the railroad - those handling the baggage, the Baggage Master, the one who gives you your ticket (if not busy). The Police are also very suitable ones to inquire of. (You will know them by their dress in large places, especially blue-broadcloth).
You will get to Memphis in the morning and have to lie over there till night. During the day you must hunt the Baggage Master up (he is seldom far off) and get your baggage checked to Dallas. He'll take your checks and give you ones having "Dallas" instead of "Memphis" stamped upon them. Every chair has also a number stamped upon it, and the checks [small, square brass plates] you hold correspond in every respect to those fastened to your baggage. If you lose your checks, anybody finding them could come to the point called for, present checks and take the goods. You can't get your goods without the checks. If you lose your tickets you are out without paying again! Put them in some convenient as well as safe place for every time Conductors are changed, you will have to show your tickets.
There will be two or three Conductors between B.Green. and Memphis, as many between that place and Little Rock, about as many between Little Rock and Texarkana, and so between the latter place and Dallas. Have your tickets ready and put them away carefully when he hands them back.
Don't be separated, especially at any place you get off to change cars. (You only change cars at B. Grn., at Memphis, at Little Rock, and Texarkana, I think). Hold Alice by the hand; keep Sophia also right at your side all the time you are - anywhere. Keep your little budgets (baskets of provisions &c) also with you unless you should accidentally meet up with some (family or lady) coming like yourselves to Dallas. In such a case you might ask them, if they pleased, to watch your things while you get __ or ___. (continued)
I and Molly start next Monday in a two-horse wagon for Dallas and Pickets, aiming to come back to Dallas to meet you. You can start the 1st Monday in June (the 1st day of June) and we will stay in Dallas Wednesday night following. If on Wednesday evening you have not received the money, or if any of you are sick, or if there is any “let up,” telegraph to Dallas. If in telegram office Wednesday evening for me, I shall expect you at night. I shall stay in Dallas till you do come. Don’t telegram unless there is something serious. Telegraphing will be more costly than staying in the wagon yard waiting. So if you can’t get off Monday the 1st (day) of June, start on Tuesday; and if you can’t start on Tuesday, start on Wednesday & so on. I’ll stay till you do come. I shall not expect a telegram unless there is something serious.
Tell Pap’s little petted girl she shall have a hat if he has to do without cake and meat. We’ll get her one in Dallas. We’ll have to get a couple of bead-steads, some chairs a table etc.; but she must have a hat. Tell Sophie to bring …ina’s geography, it is at Self’s.
I am rather low spirited. Take care of Sophia and Alice. Don’t let them leave your side. Don’t get off or on the train while it is in motion. Keep a sharp look out and come ahead.

Pap

The Doss Letters - Part 1

C. L. Doss, my great-great grandfather, at the age of fifty-three, moved from Barren County Kentucky to the community of Antioch in Johnson County, Texas to teach in a one-room school. A daughter, Fannie, and her husband Will Hall had previously moved to near-by Cleburne, and his third-oldest daughter Molly accompanied him, to be his assistant. He left behind in Kentucky his wife Elizabeth and two young daughters, Sophia and Alice, until he could earn the money to send for them. A grown son Tommie and the oldest daughter Cora and her husband John Hall also remained in Kentucky.

This letter and three to follow tell a compelling story of preparations for the trip by Elizabeth and the girls, and the events that transpired once they reached Texas.

I have the originals of the following letters from C. L to his wife, barely legible after more than 130 years. The misspellings, brackets, dashes, underlines and dotted underlines are by the author; where the text is unreadable I have inserted ellipses (…).

Johnson County, Texas
May 5th 1878

Ma,
I wrote a little letter last night to Alice, intending to put it in a letter Molly is writing [has commenced writing] but believing that she will never finish hers, at least for weeks, unless urged, and wishing mine to go, I have concluded to write a little more and send Alice's in my own.
I neglected to explain to John and Cora why I hadn't written especially to them. I knew what was written to one would be read by all, and of nights during the continuance of the school, I was too tired to write: besides it hurts my eyes to read or write by means of an artificial light. On Saturdays and Sundays it took all the time I could spend from business and company to write four sides of fool's cap home. I have written home every week since I have been out here except one or two weeks after Will and co. came out here (when I thought you would hear from us through them) and perhaps two (might be three) other times. I have written twice to Aunt Martha and twice to Picketts since I have been out here. One time to Aunt M_ (and one time to Pickett's too, I believe) before the school commenced. Aunt M's second letter has been written since of the close of the school. I have had a great deal of other writing to do; I have had to go to meetings for looks (or policy's) sake whenever there has been any need. To Sunday school several times for the same reasons. For the same reason I have contributed to beggars - preachers at different times to amount $1.00. I don't expect any reward hereafter. I did it grudgingly. One was a poor blind preacher.! The other was a poor afflicted brother wishing to establish a high school at ______ at which the orphans were to be educated "without money and without price!" (For the exclusive benefit of the widows and orphans and he was the only one left!)
Crops are doing very well. Will and John finished planting cotton yesterday. Most persons have been done for some time, yet very many say cotton planted now will do better than that planted earlier. Would you think it, Will has cotton six feet high in his field?
Ma, there are organizing in all this country, vigilante committees, or something of the kind. The proposed object is to put down robbery, theft murder, and evil-doing generally. It is feared that as much evil - nay more - will be produced than stopped by it. The Cleburne paper opposes the organization: yet according to Squire J__ H__, "The best citizens are into it." He is violently opposed to it, but talks only "confidentially." One violently opposed to it, he says, will be considered as belonging to the proscribed class. Capt. McL. thinks the uprising will be productive of good.
Let me hear as soon as practicable what you can do there, and how much money you will be obliged to have.

Pap

In the margin is written:

Jim A - has at last found a good situation and will work till he can get means to come home on.

The people have been laying by corn for a week or ten days. We have been having potatoes, strawberries and the like as long.

Monday Meanderings

We solved the problem of restocking the Finch's feed sock every two days. We got a feed station with two looong socks and a reservoir on top to keep the thistle seed coming. It holds 4 quarts of seed! Now if we could only find something like that for the songbird feeder. They can empty that one in 3 or 4 days.

We had watermelon with our supper tonight and that got me to thinking about how watermelon has always been such a great part of summertime. These days there's not much, food-wise, that's absolutely seasonal; you can get pretty much whatever you want anytime you want it, shipped semi-fresh from Lower Slobovia or some other exotic and expensive place where that product is currently in season. Or was when it was shipped. But watermelon is meant to be eaten in the summertime.

It's a faulty memory of course, but I don't think you bought watermelon at the grocery store when I was a boy. You drove up to the fruit stand on North Breckenridge Ave and bought them there. If you wanted to pay more there were cold ones floating in a big metal stock tank, bumping against 50 pound blocks of ice. There were tables where you could eat them there - the man would split them open for you. You had to bring your own utensils, or you could slice them thin and let the juice run down your chin. But don't swallow the seeds.

And speaking of summertime - heat index above 105 the next couple of days. Gotta love it.

And the protest continues, though we did see her carrying her sign, bucket (for sitting) and umbrella up the street at mid-afternoon yesterday. Don't know if it was too hot, or she was taking Mother's day off. Got to find someone who speaks Vietnamese.

Quote for the day

Okay, Ya'll. I know I'm falling behind. Some weeks are like that. So I leave you with a quote attributed to the late Poodie Locke - long-time road manager for Willie Nelson.

"Our greatest problem may - or may not - be indecision."

Monday Meanderings

If you really want to scare your co-workers, try a special 10-minute coughing spell - the kind where you turn blue in the face and gasp for air as you try not to pass out. They don't come near your desk for the rest of the day. My mother used to call this "coughing your toe-nails up." Yes, it's that gross.

A few weeks back I posted about finding valuable repair tips on the Internet and my Sis mentioned a site called www.fixya.com. I tried it when the touch screen on Mom's Palm quit responding. I found a fix - it worked great and now every one is happy but Mom; she was thinking "iTouch, come to Momma!" I did have a part left over, though, so maybe all is not lost.

Stopped in at Whataburger the other evening and saw a local manifestation of "Swinehysteria." A timer went off behind the counter and the manager yelled, "Wash up! Everybody wash their hands!" And the entire crew stopped and went to the hand washing station. Then the manager set the timer for another 15 minutes and they all went back to work. In a 10-hour shift you get to wash your hands 40 times. Not that I think that's a bad idea for a food handler, anyway. Especially when it is my food they are handling.

Addendum to the Palm repair story. I found out what the spare part was; it's a little clip that keeps the stylus from flying across the room when you move the Palm. Mom discovered this stylus trick and pointed out that the device was not exactly all fixed. Unfortunately for her, I'm now an expert at opening the Palm and making repairs.

We still don't know what the protest vigil is all about. We stopped and Mom went to see what the woman's sign said, but talented as she is, Mom doesn't read - or speak - Vietnamese.

I leave you with a treat - a new bird at our feeder:


This is a male Indigo Bunting in full breeding plumage - just like the one at the feeder the other afternoon. For a bird supposedly as common and widespread as the book says these are, I marvel that I had never seen one before.