Monday Meanderings - 5.30.2011

Happy Memorial Day! In Austin we are marking the 30th anniversary of the Memorial Day Flood. Contrasted with Joplin or Tuscaloosa it was a small-scale disaster, but 13 people lost their lives and there were damages in excess of $35 million 1981 dollars. My lasting impression of the flood was looking out in the backyard to see that the railroad ties that previously bordered our garden had floated down to the neighbor's fence. Water was shooting into our yard from a knothole that was about 4 feet off the ground on the up-hill neighbor's fence.

We continued the Memorial Day family tradition of cleaning out the... laundry room. The garage will have to wait. We are persevering in our quest to replace the washer and dryer, but apparently have to remodel the house first. More on this later. Maybe.

And speaking of our backyard, Sandi, the neighbor across the fence, called the other day and asked which tree service we used a few months back. She said she was impressed with how safely they worked and that was important to her, So I wonder how she felt this past week when I heard one of the guys working on her tree yelling repeatedly, "HEEEEELLLLPP!! Julio! I need help!!"

I'm sorry. May 25 is simply too early to officially record the 1st 100 degree day of the summer. But it IS officially summer when you have stir-fried okra, onions and tomatoes from the garden, with crispy bacon sprinkled over it for lunch. The previous sentence may be misleading, but it is technically correct. The tomatoes were from the garden.

I noticed that if you take your car in for service at First Texas Honda, they will gladly set you up with a loaner... bicycle. Complete with helmet and rack on the back for your briefcase or bag.

For some reason the doves, who up to this point had been content to bob around on the ground and harvest seed that has spilled, have decided to seek out the source of this bounty. They now try to cling to the side of the feeders and eat directly from the trough, as it were. The problem is they are much too large to do this. They have to keep flapping their wings to hold their position and they seldom can orient themselves to actually access the openings and reach the seed. And if one dove tries to feed, they think they all have to feed and sometimes all you can see is a flurry of dove wings, flapping in the breeze. Not only that, they are all dumb as... well, doves, and are prone to fly into the window as they attempt to leave. So all during the morning we hear, Thump! Thump! Thump! as the dumb doves try to feed.

Yesterday I ran sound for the Anderson High Baccalaureate - according to my friend the orchestra director, the 10th year to do so. It's always interesting to hear the student leaders give their speeches of reflection and encouragement. The National Honor Society President gave his in a very Seuss-ian rhyme. It was really well done. But the standing ovation was given to the girl who said, "This time next year, you are going to be faced with issues such as - - do I wash clothes or wear them dirty?" She is also the one who recounted the story about Mr. So&So, the teacher who nailed John Student's cell phone to the wall when he was caught texting in class! From the response of the other kids, I have to believe that this was a true story.

The keynote was given by a local judge who included a couple of comments about the use of social networking. She cautioned students to never put anything on Facebook that they didn't want to see on the front page of the newspaper, and that her days as a prosecutor taught her that the "e" in e-mail stood for "evidence."

Enjoy your holiday.

A God-moment

I know you expect to find humor - or at least an attempt at humor - here on this blog page. After all, that's my stated purpose for this blog and I seldom vary from that, but something I saw Sunday morning has been running through my mind all week, and I need to share it with you. Indulge me.

I saw a God-moment Sunday morning. To be sure, there are many God-moments every Sunday morning, but so often we fail to open our eyes to them, or we ignore them, preferring "me-moments." This time God made sure we didn't miss it. But I need to give you some background.

This was Floodgate Sunday at church. It's based on Malachi 3:10 where God says to bring the whole tithe into the storehouse and He would open the floodgates of blessing. We fund a number of our programs solely from Floodgate, and this year our goal was to collect $500,000 to fund these ministries. It's a big deal, and there have been a number of activities and messages and e-mails and videos building up to it. We've been piling up stones on our podium for an altar; each stone with names written on it, indicating that we want to signify that we believe our God is faithful.

Then, on Floodgate Sunday we bring our offering. Frankly there's a lot of hoopla involved; videos, live-action on the big screens, building up the stone altar, children noisily emptying their coin banks, the congregation bringing their offering, the shepherds greeting each one and asking God's blessing on the gift. There's a lot going on during the Floodgate offering!

In the midst of all this, Stephen and Joy brought their gift and added their names to the stones of the altar. Stephen and Joy have a newborn daughter, but at this point in time there was no hope left that the infant would overcome her many health issues; her remaining life was now being measured in hours, not days. They have known since early in the pregnancy that the chances of little Maggie's survival were between slim and none, but they placed themselves and the birth of their daughter in God's hands and have steadfastly refused to waver from this stance. Stephen and Joy have for the most part focused their grief inward, but they have shared openly in our class, and their friends have stood with them in an astounding display of love and support.

When they added their names to one of the stones, one of the Shepherd's wives stepped over and embraced them, then the Shepherd, then another couple, and soon all the elders and their wives were holding them close. Some of their friends were quick to join the group, then a lot of their friends and then other members stepped up to surrounded them, just holding them close. Loving them. Crying over them and crying for Maggie.

And in the middle of all the hoopla and activity, there came a still, quiet moment when God said "Stop. I want you to be my arms and hold Stephen and Joy, and I want you to shed my tears over them and for Maggie. This is the gift I want at this moment."

"Mighty" Maggie, as she was called by the NICU staff, lost her struggle Wednesday afternoon.

Oh, and I checked the stone altar Wednesday night. Her name is written there.

Texting for Seniors

My thanks to Barb's sister Betty for sharing these...

ATD - at the doctor.

BFF - best friend fell.

BTW - bring the wheelchair.

BYOT - bring your own teeth.

FWIW - forgot where I was.

GGPBL - gotta go, pacemaker battery low.

GHA - got heartburn again.

IMHO - is my hearing aid on?

LMDO - laughing my dentures out.

OMMR - on my massage recliner.

ROFLACGU - rolling on floor laughing and can't get up

TTYL - talk to you louder!

Monday Meanderings - 5.23.2012

Well, we are still here. A friend commented that she was just as upset with the folks that said the world was not going to end on the 21st as with those who said it was. Said it was a bit presumptuous to take either stance.

After the rain come the rain lilies. Fields full of them. I guess after so long a wait they thought they better get 'er done. It's an amazing sight. Rain on Thursday, fields of blooms on Monday - and not a lilly in sight on Wednesday. I think there's something Biblical about that, isn't there?

Checked in at the Allergist's office for a regular visit and the receptionist said that I had overpaid and here was a $2.74 refund check. I thanked her, and then she said, "Your balance is $1.25. Would you like to pay that now?" ??? I asked her if she would take a 3rd party check.

Just days before my age exempts me from service, I got a Jury Questionnaire. Not a summons. Not yet.

I mentioned that we went to Abilene last weekend for Jason's - uh, excuse me - Dr. Locke's graduation. I failed to note that this followed on the heels of his delivering a Theme address at Pepperdine Lectures. Well done.

When we checked in at the hotel in Abilene the guy behind the desk looked so much like a young man that we knew from Brentwood days that I greeted him like a long-lost friend. He was pretty confused because it turns out he was not Mark, the friend. So for the rest of the stay I greeted him as "Not Mark."

The State of Texas has adopted a number of new textbooks. As a result, everyone at Learning Ally (RFB&D) is reading a slew of new texts, preparing for the coming school year. The majority of them are literature books - each about 1,300 pages and weighing 5 pounds apiece. I predict spinal adjustments from heavy backpacks. Of course, these are the current style of texts - lots and lots of graphics, icons, colored lines, colored highlighting, little sidebar boxes - all the things that make it an exciting read for sighted people, and impossible to read for those with visual difficulties.

By the way; the mascot for the Arkansas School for the Deaf is the Leopards. So that would make them the deaf Leopards.

If you can't build an ark, I guess this is the next best thing.

Reading between the lines

Carefully read the following newspaper article. It's a little blurry, so you may have to enlarge it by double-clicking on it. Pay close attention - there will be a test at the end.

The test: Did you realize that stepping off a curb while trying to balance a laptop and a knife was so dangerous?

Old People Jokes

For some reason, people keep sending me jokes about old people. I don't understand why, myself, but I stick them in a folder so that from time-to-time -- like now -- I can share them with you.
 
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'
The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'

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Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

**********************************************************************************

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... The one that's red and has thorns?'
'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'

**********************************************************************************

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'

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A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
'So I hear you're getting married?'
'Yep!'
'Do I know her?'
'Nope!'
'This woman, is she good looking?'
'Not really.'
'Is she a good cook?'
'Nah, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
'I don't know.'
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
'Because she can still drive!'

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A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?'
'Twelve thirty.'

**********************************************************************************

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. The doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mama and be cheerful.'
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that. I said, You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'

**********************************************************************************

And I want you to know that my mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.

Monday Meanderings - 5.16.2011

Major difficulties with the Blogger.com site the past few days; lost an entire blog somewhere, so I'll incorporate it into this MM. Blame it on Friday the 13th.

A little rain is worthy of a blog mention. A lot of rain is worthy of an entire blog! Like most places in Texas Austin is dry, dry, dry. No significant rain in months - until Thursday.

It was sprinkling a bit Thursday morning when we set out for Panera Bread. The proper behavior in that circumstance is to ignore the few falling drops. Don't draw any attention to the rain lest it become shy and go away. Panera is not real close, so by the time we were in the vicinity we were referring to the "damp" morning, and by the time we got there we were admitting to the real possibility that we were going to get very wet. And that's when the hail started, so I thought I might want to take a look at the radar. Here's what  I saw: 

See that little red cell sitting right on top of Austin? We were getting hammered by that little guy. See all that stuff to the left? That was on the way.

So we skedaddled toward home, grabbed some egg McMuffins on the way and sat this one out. Well, I did. Barb had to go right back out to run her MOW route, but the worst had passed by then.

When all was said and done we received 2.96 inches of rain Thursday. That brought our total for the year to 3.81 inches. Do you see anything unusual about those figures? Like the fact that Thursday contributed 75% of our total rainfall?

We made a quick trip to Abilene Friday, to attend Jason's graduation ceremony at ACU, where he received a doctoral degree in Ministry. Here's the graduate in all his regalia.

 

We planned far enough in advance that we had reservations at an actual motel, and that motel served actual food for breakfast. A far cry from when we were in Abilene a year ago at this time. 

In-N-Out opened in the Dallas area this past week. I'm told that people lined up for hours. Really? For a hamburger?

Keeping Austin Weird - Running Man

From time-to-time I mention the iconic people that help Austin retain its zany uniqueness. I've referenced  Leslie several times; he's doing well and is still mayor of 6th Street. Another reason we don't go down there. And there was the nearly-nude bicycle guy (who evidently can't take the summer sun - he's not been seen in a while). And I mentioned the Running Man - the dude who hangs out in a little patch of grass beside the HEB on North Lamar and Rundberg and spends his day sprinting up and down that area.

Running Man turns out to be a guy named Broderick James, and he is gaining a bit of attention. He's using social media to gain a following and has more than 2000 "fans" on his FaceBook page.  He even has some of his "peeps" holding up cardboard signs to advertise his page.

According to his page he runs "because I am free. I run to inspire others to be bold in their dreams, their thinking, and be who they were created to be. I offer true optimism through my dedication to the city and its people thereof. I run to show that I am opposed to poverty, stress, depression, and obesity."

Okay, then.

According to an interview with one of the TV stations here, he chose Rundberg and North Lamar to be the focus of his activities because its reputation for drugs, gangs and prostitution. He sees his presence as a counterpoint to all that. He's got a point. According to the APD that intersection has more alcohol-related accidents than anywhere else in town. And there's a fine group of ladies who have been doing social networking on this corner for several years now.

Did I mention that this is the location of our closest public library? And that we go to the library a lot? Here's hoping Running Man is successful in bringing a positive influence on the neighborhood.

Monday Meanderings - 5.09.2011

Several gorgeous days this past week - temperature in the low 70's, not a cloud in the sky. Perfect for sitting on the patio...and snoozing. I hope the neighbors did not see me fall out of the chair. "Old man Anderson has been nipping at the Gin again." Unfortunately, that didn't last. It was 98 degrees in Austin yesterday. The good news is that I don't have to worry about the neighbors anymore.

Way back in 1954 Elizabeth Taylor starred in a movie called "Elephant Walk." I don't remember much about the movie, but the crux was the arrogant great white hunter built his compound across the trail the elephants used to get to water. Heavily reinforced barricades forced the elephants to go around until they got so hacked off they walked right through the barricades. And the compound.

I think about that when I watch two neighborhood cats daily walk through our backyard on the way to the neighbors. Don't know why they walk the same path repeatedly, but there's almost a trail down the side of the yard to the fence. Thus far, they climb up and jump over the fence. I'm waiting for the day when they decide to push through it, like the elephants.

The nerve! Rudely awakened in the wee hours of the morning by a telemarketer. Don't people know that 8:20 in the morning is altogether too early to be calling on the telephone? Show some respect, people.

At Learning Ally (RFB&D) last week I was reading a Junior High-level Texas Literature textbook and the director stopped me, saying I had misread a sentence. I doubted it, but was polite about it and we started over. He stopped me again, saying I had added some words. Again. I was sure this time, so I said, "Play it back so I can hear what's wrong." Sure enough, the playback exactly matched what I had read.
     "See? You added the words..." and he read the "extra" words.
     "That's what it says in my book."
     "Really? My book says...." and he read the abridged version of the sentence.
The two, seemingly identical, published on the same date textbooks were different! We took them to the studio director who confirmed that there were differences; that one book was printed a month after the first, and they had edited the book in between and most of the differences that had been uncovered were of no significance whatsoever. No wonder Texas textbooks cost so much to adopt.

So then my director wants to know how is he going to be able to tell when it's a mistake and when there's a textual difference. The studio director said, pointing to me, "Trust him."

And in medical news...

A new medical study says "Having sex, drinking coffee, working out - activities that cause blood pressure to spike - may briefly raise the risk of a burst aneurysm in the brains of certain vulnerable people."  

Now which of these can I cut out to lower my risk?

Lady Longhorn softball team was 14 - 0 in Big 12 play.  So we watched the last 3 games on TV. Want to guess what their record is now? No more LL's on the TV for us. It's for the good of the team.

BTW, I have a treadmill for sale, if anyone is interested.

A Mother's Day remembrance

My mother at age 27.

Serve Out Friday

More stuff that I just have to share:

The caption says it all.

Just snoozing, I promise. No cats were harmed making this blog.

Do you mind? I'm trying to work here.

One can only hope.

Obviously spelling is not on the list. Sex-ed, maybe.

Oh yes! They are made out of bacon!

Coffee and doughnut, coming up.

 

 Hold it!

Especially these past few days.

Ouch.

And we finish with....

Anatomically correct nesting dolls.

You gotta love the Internet!

If My Body Were A Car...

Among the flotsam and jetsam of the Internet was this forwarded item. So true, so true.

IF  MY BODY WERE A  CAR...

If  my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and  dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull ...  But that's not the worst of it.

My  headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close. Or far away.

My steering is shot and I keep running into and over things.

My  horsepower is losing horses; doesn't take much of a hill to stall me out.

My GPS gizmo is completely out of whack; I seldom know where I am going or where I've been.

It  takes me hours to get moving properly, and I'm not getting very good mileage anymore.

But  here's the worst of it  -- Almost every time I sneeze,  cough or hit a bump, either my radiator leaks or my exhaust  backfires!

Monday Meanderings - 5.02.2011

Got a call a couple of weeks ago from a guy I worked with 20 years ago, back in the home builder days. Says he's going to be in town and wants to get together with me and Barb. Wants us to meet his wife, talk over old times. You know, it's hard to carry on a conversation with someone you haven't seen in 20 years.

In our travels to Mexico and Central America our family learned the power of the "tsssst! tsssst!" That's the noise you make by blowing air through your teeth. People in those cultures use this noise to quietly get someone's attention; we picked up on that and discovered it is a nice, quiet distinctive noise that we could use to get the attention of other family members in public places. Well, Barb and I use it. Others in our family think it too closely resembles calling a pet. I can relate to that.

So I came out of the Doctor's office the other day and Barb is waiting for me in the reception room and I wanted to signal to her that I'm ready to go, so I went "tssst tssst" to get her attention. However, this was Hispanic Appreciation Day at the Doctor's office, and after I went "tssst tssst" everybody in the room stopped what they were doing and looked up at me. Except Barb. She didn't hear me, but I sure wasn't going to do it again, so I just said, "Ahem. BARB! We can go now."

Add the typewriter to the list of things that used to be a common part of our lives, but have disappeared. The last typewriter manufacturer in the world, Godrej & Boyce of India, has ended production of the typewriter. When was the last time you used a typewriter? SAW a typewriter? Long live QWERTY.

Keeping Austin Weird: Austin held the 48th annual Eeyore's Birthday Party this weekend. You know, Pooh's friend. The Party started as a way for a few UT students to have one last gasp before finals, but has grown into one of the biggest fund-raisers in town. It's very loosely organized and still has a very hippie subculture feel to it (and a lot of old hippies hang out there every year). Dressing weirdly is the key and you are welcome to wear - or not wear - whatever you want. Paint was very popular this year. And yes, there is always a donkey. "Thank you for remembering."

And speaking of friends, if you have some time to kill, take a look at your FaceBook "Find Friends" selection. On your browser, click "Find Friends" on the upper right blue bar. Now, from the plethora of suggestions made because you have one or more mutual friends, see if you can figure out who these people are and who they know who know you.

The surface of the earth is slipping to the South. And I can prove it. When I put these stepping stones in the lawn many years ago they were all in a straight line. Now look at them.

The earth is sliding! The earth is sliding! Remember. You heard it here first!