Gym Dandy

At the beginning of the year, BPORT (the Benevolent and Protective Order of Retired Teachers), in its infinite wisdom, rearranged the way our insurance and Medicare coverages are handled. The jury is still out on whether this is actually a good thing for us retired folk, or just a shell game. However, one of the incentives they tossed out was a free membership at a local participating fitness facility or exercise center. Find a participating entity near you, join up and get fit!

This might actually be of benefit to us. Barb already exercises regularly by walking several times a week, and I have been known to step on the treadmill occasionally. Hey, don't judge me, okay? Barb's favorite place to walk is Highland Mall; it's indoors, it's nice and flat, no dogs bark at you or try to bite you, and in Austin - where the humidity often exceeds the considerable temperature - you run less risk of collapsing if you walk indoors. However, Austin Community College has purchased the entirety of Highland Mall with plans to turn it into a massive collegiate complex. It's exercise availability is coming to an end.

When I walk, I use our weary old treadmill, which we bought used in 1999 and which now has 777 hours and 510 miles on it. I'm not sure what that compares to in automobile years and miles, but I think it may need a tune-up. Lately it has developed the habit of stopping abruptly mid-step, so for safety's sake one must keep a firm grip on the rails, which negates somewhat the benefit of really getting those arms and legs pumping.

So we found that the participating facility near us is part of a world-wide mega-chain of gyms and fitness centers, which we shall call for purposes of liability avoidance, Silver's Gym. We visited, got the grand tour, found out that yes, they participated in that plan and the entire 24-hour-a-day facility, including machines, weights, classes, pool, sauna and hot tub was ours to use at no cost whatsoever. Trainers, guidance and smoothies were not included. After successfully evading the strong-arm sales-pitch for trainers, Barb signed up on the spot; I didn't have my paperwork with me, so I told them I would be back.

In the meantime, I did some on-line research on Silver's Gym and learned that they have a terrible reputation! To be fair, so does every other gym in town, but since Silver's has eleven locations in Austin, they get the lion's share of hateful reviews. It didn't take long to figure out that the primary problem area is membership contracts and the payment thereof. "I signed up for blah, blah and I got billed for blah, blah, blah and they were hateful about it and wouldn't give me my money back!" There were also several rants about "strange things growing in the shower stalls and don't even think about coming after work because of the crowds!"

Okay the contract is a non-issue for us, and we weren't planning on using the showers anyway, so all we have to do is avoid the rush hour, something retired folks are good at. I'm in!

I'll let you know how our our "introduction and orientation"session went in a later blog. Just as soon as I'm able to sit up again.

Monday Meanderings - 1.28.2012

SXSW is upon us once again. Picked up the Chronicle this week and saw a listing of the expected bands. You might check to see if your favorite is coming. If you don't find them they may be on the next page, which I didn't bother to copy. Yes, more than 1,500 bands are performing in Austin during the festival. Let's see, if I only listened to each band for 5 minutes, and I could get to the next venue in another 5 minutes, it would take me only 10.4 days to sample them all. Two hundred fifty non-stop hours. Might not happen.

Our church, like many others, sends us an acknowledgement of our contributions for the year. It is a required tax document and it contains the obligatory required statement, "no benefit was provided in return." Perhaps that can be stated in a better way. Or perhaps not.

I read that there is a serious shortage of chicken wings and here we are on the cusp of chicken wing Armageddon! Personally, for the Super Bowl I'm going for those little sausages. Oh, and lots of queso! And those little cheese cubes. And...

I leave you with an amusing video. Be sure to watch to the end.

It's still good to be in the Oil Bidness!

I was reminded of this post when the royalty check arrived in the mail today.

Texas is known primarily for two things - oil and cattle. So if you want to be a true Texan it stands to reason that you need a ranch with some cattle on it and a few pump jacks scattered around the lower 40.

Well, I'm still working on the ranch, though I think the box of steaks in the freezer ought to count for something. But I've got the oil well down pat. Lease 326, Pace Unit, Stephens County Texas. That's my oil well.

Okay, it's mine and a bunch of other folks, too. I know that because my share is .00084151 percent. Ya'll, I admit that that's not a very big slice, but it's enough to receive a couple of royalty payment checks a year, and added all together it's enough to have to report on IRS Schedule E, less my 15% depletion, well-head taxes and the Property Tax bill from Mrs. Terry Sullivan, Stephens County Tax Assessor and Collector. Being in the Oil Bidness is complicated; I can just imagine how it will be when I get my ranch.

So how did I end up with 0.00084151 percent of an oil well in Stephens County Texas? Like most oilmen today, I inherited it from my Daddy, the Oil Baron. It was under the family house in Breckenridge Texas, that oil was discovered, or rediscovered, or remembered, or they finally got around to (along with a bunch of his neighbors). Him being a true Texan through and through, he was more interested in preserving the pristine grandeur of his sweeping back yard, but they finally assured him that any environmental impact was going to be several miles north on Park Street and slant-well drilling was the answer to the petroleum industry's problems. And there you have it. Instant 0.00252453 of a millionaire!

So now, when I pull up to the gas pump and contemplate paying $2.49 3.15 a gallon for gasoline, I think to myself, "Yes, but crude is up to $70 86.47 a barrel. The royalty check is probably up another .06 .10 cents!"

It's good to be in the Oil Bidness.

Monday Meandering - 1.21.2012

I got a letter from Xavier University, inviting me to attend my 50th anniversary reunion. I admit that my memory is not what it was, but I'm pretty sure that I didn't attend Xavier. Oh, wait! That was in the 50's wasn't it? Never mind.

The digital world has reached Learning Ally - the reading for the blind and dyslexic organization that I work with. Of course, the end product of our reading is a digital (audio) product, but now the source is also digital. They now get many of their books in e-format; the text appears on the same screens that we use to control the pagination. We read it off the screen, marking every paragraph now instead of just every page, and transform the digital page into a digital audio file.

It's an interesting transition; by and large our readers are of an... well, older generation. Some have been at it the old fashioned way for many, many years; a couple of ladies for more than 30 years! Change is hard. I'm all for it because thus far, all the books are straight text - no charts, graphs, illustrations, dingbats  or gadgets. That will probably come to pass, but for now it's very straightforward. And fun! Last week I read from "The Life of Pi."

Spent half a day last week ridding my computer of sort of a virus. It was not destructive, but changed all my browsers to use the Babylon search engine no matter what you set the default to. I really griped about my virus detection software letting this get through until I dug deep enough to discover that I invited this malware aboard with a (free) program that I downloaded and installed myself. I guess you get what you pay for.

Now I ask you. Why would I want a pillow that lights up?

Ancestors, Indians, Daniel Boone and more Indians - Stories for my grandchildren

From prior posts, you know that I maintain the Family Tree - a genealogy based on years of research by my mother. My father's line is in that genealogy as well, and it's a story from his family that I want to tell today.

 My father's mother, my grandmother, was a Starnes. Just about the entire Starnes line in this country can be traced back to the patriarch Frederick Starnes and his wife Mary Goldman, pictured above. Frederick and Mary were immigrants from the German Palatinate, among a group that had fled to England, and being found unwelcome there, moved on to the New World, settling first in the Hudson River Valley of New York, then  along the Mohawk River in Herkimer County New York.

In 1741 Frederick lead a small group of two or three families from the Mohawk Valley of New York to settle on the Juniata River in Pennsylvania. Unfortunately, they chose land that the Delaware Indians claimed was their best hunting ground and that was too close to their tribal capitol of Shamokin. A delegation of Indians from the Six Nations in 1742 came down to Philadelphia and lodged a complaint with Governor Thomas that these settlers were violating their treaty with the Proprietor William Penn, and demanded the trespassers be immediately removed. Richard Peters, Secretary of the Province of Pennsylvania, concerned about serving the order to vacate their cabins, fearing that the settlers might refuse and probably were armed, arrived with a detail of Militia in June of 1743. From the lack of records otherwise, it is assumed the families moved out peaceably.

Eventually, the family ended up on the Middle Fork of the Holston River, near the present town of Chilhowie, Virginia. They were not done with Indian troubles, however. Frederick was attacked July 3,1755 by several Shawnee Indians, who fired upon him and woundedhim. Frederick was able to return fire and escape the attack.

In 1779, two of Frederick's sons, my 4th great granduncles Frederick Jr. and Joseph, along with Joseph's son, Joseph Jr. andson-in-law Michael Moyer departed their homes in Washington County,Virginia and ventured into the Kentucky wilderness in search of newlands to settle and farm. Frederick Jr's son, Jacob Starnes, was already in Kentucky, assistingDaniel Boone with the construction of Fort Boonesborough.

They followed the "Wilderness Trail" that DanielBoone and 31 axemen, (most likely including Jacob) constructedback in March 1775, a route that made a long loopfrom Virginia southward to Tennessee and then northward to Kentucky,a distance of over 200 miles. This route was known to be very dangerous, and knowing the dangers, Frederick Starnes made his last will and testament before leaving his home.

"In the name of God Amen, I Frederick Starns of Washington County in the Commonwealth of Virginia being of perfect health, praised by God for his mercies, make constitute this to be my last will and testament as followith~~I give and bequeath to Mary my well beloved wife one black mare which I had from my son Jacob Starns and her saddle likewise her thirds of all my estate~I likewise give and bequeath to my son David, thirty pounds Virginia and ever child younger than him twenty five pounds like money-and the remaining parts of the estate to be equally divided amongst all my children (first paying all my just debts)."

As it turns out, this was a prudent move. On April 7, 1779, Frederick Jr., his brother Joseph, Joseph Jr. and son-in-law Michael Moyer,along with 8 other men from the fort, set out to scout some land south of Fort Boonesborough. About 25 miles south of the fort, the party reached a watercouse known as the "Lower Blue Licks Creek." This would take them back onto the Wilderness Trail. Eventually, they entered the narrow Blue Licks Creek valley just below the headwater springs. Here, on the banks of the creek, in a heavily wooded area close to the Blue Licks Springs, a large group of Indians attacked the Starnes-led group. Joseph Starnes, Jr. was the only survivor. He wrote later:

"I was once in a company of four in the year 1779, April 7 over a watercourse in Virginia back of the settlements towards Boonesboro, where we were fired on by about 25 or 30 Indians, and my father (Joseph Starnes), my uncle (Frederick Starnes) and brother-in-law Michael Moyer were shot and I made my escape although they saw me for upwards of a mile and kept firing on me, but I made my escape in the cane and other undergrowth."

And you thought you had a hard day.

Monday Meanderings - 1.14.2013

I was reading one of these health magazines for seniors and an article warned that I should be conscious of medical symptoms such as shortness of breath, increased pulse rate, dizziness, aching muscles and rubbery legs, That describes to a "T" how I feel when I exercise on the treadmill. Thank goodness I now have medical advice to stop that!

Saw a news item that a California couple, Jeff Reitz and Tonya Mickesh visited Disneyland every single day in 2012 for a total of 366 visits. On their 366th visit, Disney Resorts Chairman Tom Staggs recognized the couple by making them honorary citizens of Disneyland and gifting them with a stay at the Disneyland Dream Suite. Excuse me? 366 visits and all they get is a night in a motel? In other news, a woman from Seattle has announced for the year 2013 she is only going to eat and drink products available at Starbucks. Really? Starbucks, for its part, is “honored” by the whole thing. That did get me thinking, though - if I ate at Chuy's every day for a year, would Chuy's management reward me in some fashion? Perhaps a free night in the Coronary Care Unit? Something to think about.

Another item item in the local news mentioned that "heavy hors d'oeuvres" would be served at a certain function. Now even though I'm from Texas, I do know what horse's doovers are. I'm not sure about the "heavy" kind. Is that like a baked potato? A can of Spam? A brick of chili? Inquiring Minds...

The Dallas Cowboys have hired a coach who is older than I am. My first thought was I hope the old guy doesn't have a heart attack during some incredibly tense moment. Then I remembered, it IS the Cowboys; he should be safe.

HOW TO INSTALL A SOUTHERN HOME SECURITY SYSTEM
1. Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of size 14-16 men's work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
3. Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads ......

Bubba,
Me and Marcel, Donnie Ray and Jimmy Earl went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls. They got the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.

Be right back.
Cooter

Duck Dynasty...and frog hunting

Let me be candid.

There is a marked difference of opinion concerning the Duck Dynasty TV series at our house. One of us wants nothing to do with this series; isn't interested in watching it, doesn't want to hear about it, finds no humor in it. That would not be me.

I, on the other hand, am in awe of whoever thought it would be funny to film a bunch of Louisiana red-necks doing really stupid things. I love Duck Dynasty and regret that I came late to this idiocy. Thank goodness A&E repeats them endlessly night after night.

I'm aware that these people are from my tribe (I confess that I have mixed emotions about this); I've seen the YouTube videos of Willy at Harding (his Alma Mater), and Elder Phil preaching. I know that when all is said and done, family values are promoted; I love that every show ends with grace and acknowledgement. And family gathered at the table. But all that is just icing. I think I relate to these people because I have known people just like them. Heck, I'm kin to people like them!

Case in point: last night I had the TV to myself and I was having a DD marathon. Oh, yes! One episode featured Willie, Jase and Si out frog hunting. The segment thoroughly explained the process - one person drives the boat and holds the flashlight to spot the reflection from the eyes of the frogs, one person tends the bucket containing captured frogs, and the third person sits in the very prow of the boat and snags the frogs from the bank.

That's exactly how we did it years ago. My brother-in-law Arthur handled the boat and light, Barb kept the lid on the frog container, and I leaned way over the bow to catch frogs. Caddo Creek empties into Possum Kingdom Lake near the family cabin, and one night we motored up the creek (literally) to catch bull frogs.

When a frog is spotted, there is a brief moment of immobility on the part of the frog. During this short interval, a skilled boat handler will steer the boat directly into the bank where the frog is sitting. If this is done with dispatch, and the frog-catcher is already leaning far out over the boat, the result is a frog in hand - and the frog-catcher sprawled on the bank at best, but sometimes in the creek itself. The trick is to not to let go of the frog.

 And yes, like the Robertsons, we feasted on frog legs afterwards. Happy, happy, happy!

Monday Meanderings - 1.7.2013

First blog of the new year. So far, so good.

I think I mentioned that Barb had a birthday and is now older than me. I consoled her with the fact that she was one year closer to the age that the TSA agents stop asking you to take off your shoes when you go through airport security. She was not as encouraged about this as I expected.

Saw a roofing company truck with a big sign painted on the back: "Roof gone to hail? Call us."

Interest in Duck Dynasty, or Ms Kay's Sweet Potato Pie, or both, has landed 259 Google searchers on this blog. That's no where near the leader - the 1,230 hits because of the post about an old album of 78 records.

I agree with my son-in-law: isn't there another choice we could make for BCS Champion? Notre Dame or Alabama. Really? I had enough trouble with Oklahoma and A&M in the Cotton Bowl. And shouldn't the Cotton Bowl be played in the Cotton Bowl? What's up with that?

Barb and I both wear medical ID bracelets. Mine has my name, emergency contact information, drug and allergy information. Here's a picture of Barbs:

I resolved to keep all my New Year's Resolutions for at least the first couple days. I'm glad that's over.

Skeleton in the closet - Stories for my grandchildren

Second in an occasional series on the family history

There is a distant relative in our family tree with an interesting, if dubious, set of associated facts. This relative:

• was mentioned by name in John Steinbeck's Grapes of Wrath
• had a ballad written about him by Woody Guthrie that has been recorded by Bob Dylan, The Byrds and Joan Baez, among others
• has been the subject of a number of books, including one co-written by Larry McMurtry
• has been portrayed in movies by John Erickson (1960), Robert Conrad (1965), Fabian (1970), Steve Kanalay (1973), Martin Sheen (1974), Bo Hopkins (1975) and Channing Tatum (2009)
• was named Public Enemy Number One by J. Edgar Hoover

Let me clear. Charles Arthur "Pretty Boy" Floyd, though a fifth cousin of my mother, therefore my fifth cousin,  another generation removed, didn't come to many family reunions in his day. He was busy with other activities, namely robbing banks and running from the cops.

The genealogical record says Floyd was born on February 3, 1904 in Bartow County, Georgia. He grew up in Oklahoma after moving there with his family from Georgia in 1911, and spent considerable time in nearby Kansas, Arkansas and Missouri. The Wikipedia record has more: he was first arrested at age 18 after he stole $3.50 in coins from a local post office. Three years later he was arrested for a payroll robbery on September 16, 1925 in St. Louis, Missouri and was sentenced to five years in prison, of which he served three and a half.

Entering into partnerships with more established criminals in the Kansas City underworld, he committed a series of bank robberies over the next several years; it was during this period that he acquired the nickname "Pretty Boy," a name he hated. During the period from 1929 to 1933, he was involved in or accused of a number of robberies and shootings, including the "Kansas City Massacre," a gunfight in which four policemen perished.

This brought the focus of J Edger Hoover and the FBI on Floyd, though historians doubt that Floyd was actually involved in this event. Floyd himself denied it to his dying breath, and even sent a postcard to the Kansas City police which read: "Dear Sirs- I- Charles Floyd- want it made known that I did not participate in the massacre of officers at Kansas City. Charles Floyd"

Floyd's life of crime came to a predictable end in a corn field near East Liverpool, Ohio, while being pursued by local law officers and FBI agents led by Melvin Purvis, famous for his dogged pursuit of Baby Face Nelson and Charles Dillon. The genealogical record simply states that he died October 22, 1934 and was buried in in Akins, Oklahoma. It does not state that it was one of the most well-attended funerals ever in the state of Oklahoma.

So how does the son of share-croppers Walter Lee and Minnie (Echols) Floyd, raised in the Cookson Hills of Oklahoma, go from callus-fingered cotton picker to trigger-fingered desperado and something of a folk hero, remembered in legend and in song? I suggest that his story has been told well by others, and I refer you to:

• McMurtry, Larry and Ossana, Diana, "Pretty Boy Floyd," Simon & Schuster; (a fictionalized version)
• Michael Wallis, "Pretty Boy, the Life and Times of Charles Arthur Floyd" St. Martin's Press, New York, 1992
• Merle Clayton "Union Station Massacre" 1975 BM Bobbs Merrill

For an overly-sympathetic, somewhat sensationalized telling, try Joseph Geringer's story at http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/gangsters_outlaws/outlaws/floyd/1.html

By the way, attribution for the photo above reads: "This image or file is a work of a Federal Bureau of Investigation employee, taken or made during the course of an employee's official duties. As a work of the U.S. federal government, the image is in the public domain." How's that for permission to re-post?