A candidate I can support...

And a platform I can stand on...



And if you have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about, go here.

Repeat After Me...

“I am retired! I do not need any more teaching supplies.” Say it again!

“I am retired! I do not need any more teaching supplies.”

Dad reminded me to keep saying that after I noticed that there was a new Lakeshore store close to the Arboretum.

Now to really appreciate how much excitement this brought, you have to understand that Lakeshore was my very favorite teacher supply store. It had all kinds of math manipulatives, new and different games that helped build math and language concepts, more neat pocket charts for more purposes than you could ever imagine, and tons of disposable materials that made the art table really enticing. Whenever I went to Dallas for a conference every couple of summers, I always had to go by Lakeshore and buy lots of the newest stuff for the school year to come. And if we had a little extra time on the way to see the Cuevas family, I’d try to persuade Dad to drive into San Antonio at least as far as 410, so we could stop at the Lakeshore there and then go out on I-10 to Boerne.

My first response when I saw it was “Yipee! Gotta go there as soon as possible”. And then I felt a little hurt. “I wonder why they didn’t let me know they’ve opened a store here? I’ve spent lots of money with them over the years.”

I waited a couple of days and thought about how much fun it was going to be. And then I went and I walked all around the store and walked out without being tempted to buy even a single thing.

I guess it’s true. “I am retired! I do not need any more teaching supplies.”

And I think I know one of your probles...

Some things are not worth a lousy four bucks!

"Welcome to the Red Lobster guest satisfaction survey. Your opinions are very important to us and we greatly appreciate your help. To complete the survey, you'll use your telephone keypad to answer a few questions. To express our thanks, we'll give you a code at the end of the survey that validates the offer shown on your receipt."

"Let's get started."

Please!

"To begin, please press 1 on your telephone keypad now. "

Beep.

"Great. Look at the Red Lobster recipt that has the toll-free number for the survey on it. Near where it says "your opinion counts" is a twelve-digit ID number. Please enter that number now. Press the pound key when you've finished entering."

Good grief. Why 12 digits long? Okay, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep... Rats!! Wrong number. Now what?

"I'm sorry, but the ID number you entered is not valid."

I know, I know! I punched the wrong number!

"Be sure your entry is the correct ID number. It's twelve digits long and it's printed on your Red Lobster receipt near where it says your opinion counts."

Yes, I know where the number is, but it's too long!

"If you've located the correct ID number please reenter it now."

If you will give me a break, I will!

"Be sure to press each digit firmly when entering."

Okay! I'm sorry. I made mistake! Can we get past it?

"Then, when you've finished, press the pound key."

Finally!! Okay. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep... [expletive deleted]!!!

"I'm sorry, but the ID number you entered is not... click!

Yoda you seek

Some how I missed the fact that Yoda is the guy on the right in the banner picture above. Who knew he lived in Austin now?

Memory loss?

I've had this thought about a blogging topic several times this morning, but I keep forgetting it. Later I will remember it once again, but pretty soon I have forgotten it again. Barb says I need to start carrying a pencil and pad.

I'm pretty sure this is a sign of something, but I can't remember what it is.

Funny nevertheless

This is making the rounds with claims that Julie Andrews, on her 69th birthday, made a special appearance at Manhattan 's Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP and sang the following version of "My Favorite Things."

Based on Ms. Andrews age, that would have been in 2004, but she lost the ability to sing after botched surgery in 1997, so this is another cyberlegend - but the lyrics have a special meaning to some of us anyway.

Try singing it as you read.

Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Cadillacs and cataracts, and hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the pipes leak, When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Back pain, confused brains and no need for sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',
And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favorite things.

When the joints ache, When the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad.

You need to see this

Of course most of you who see this blog also read Julie's blog and she has a link on her blog to the Morgantown Church Mosaic project, but just in case you haven't seen it, you need to go there and marvel at what they are doing.

Here's a picture we took last August when the first mosaic was in its final stages. It's sharply cropped because there was scaffolding, etc., still standing when we were there. There are better pictures on the linked site.

Did I say retired?

It's just not fair. My former and sometimes boss had a project at the office he wanted me to do, so he called...Mom. And says, "You about ready to get Bob out of the house?" Just how underhanded can you get?

This was last week, so I had some time to get used to the idea, but I have to say it didn't help. I still felt like a condemned man. "Well, tomorrow I have to go turn myself in and start serving my time." Tomorrow is today, so I got my act together this morning and went back to my old office and it's like I never left!

I don't know the scope of this yet, but I've got a feeling that I'm going to be going in to the office quite a bit - probably till the end of the year. Surplus Lines of Texas is "modernizing" the application that we did for them about 10 years ago and I'm one of the few who remain who can dig the business rules out of the existing application.

But the good news is that we can quit wondering if we can afford to go to Peru in November. Of course, the bad news is that now there are no excuses for not going to Peru in November.

Now, if I could just remember my password.

If you were to guess

I suspect you would not guess that is a public restroom. However, this is Austin and that is exactly what it is - newly installed on the hike-and-bike trail along Lady Bird Lake. Other views show that the steel planks curl into a less porous center core that contains all the essential restroom elements.

Not only that, this structure has made the short list for the World Architecture Festival Awards. I just wonder what category it was entered under? "Best use of old steel planks" or "Most likely to leave them guessing" or "Most certain to create a shy bladder?

Way to go, Austin!

I confess. I'm an Olympic junkie.

But did you see that opening ceremony? I mean, did you see that? Okay, I'm a pushover for a show with 15,000 performers (I really dug the drums. And the boxes. And the...) and a 500 foot wide LED screen and enough fireworks to power the space program for years.

Of course I'll watch all the thrilling and less than thrilling athletics competitions. What's the summer equivalent of Curling? Whatever it is I'll be glued to the set like I cared. There are more than 20 athletes there from Austin (not all USA team - some just train here) so there's a local interest.

And this time you can see any event you want live - if you are willing to get up at 2AM. Gotta go. Horseshoes begins in 30 minutes. I understand Turkmenistan has a formidable team.

What price for wisdom?

We read a lot at our house. And since it's never too late to improve oneself and broaden ones horizon vocabulary-wise, we make it a point to look up new and unknown words when we encounter them. Mind you, we know a lot of words already and frankly what we read for the most part doesn't stretch us much, but now and then a particularly erudite author will infuse his or her prose with a word that escapes our personal etymological or philological resources. So we look it up.

Well, we attempt to. We have a copy of Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary which isn't. It was published in 1977 and the spine is broken and it's heavy and hard to use. Granted a lot of words were already invented by 1977, but according to a guy here in Austin, author of "A Million Words and Counting" about 4,000 words a year are being added globally to the English language, so we could be 124,000 words behind.

So Mom bought a little copy of Webster's New World Dictionary at Wal-Mart; it was published in 2003 so that should get us more up-to-date. Up-to-date perhaps, but sadly lacking. On occasion we have failed to find as many as five definitions in a row. Maybe we should have spent more than $3.87 for enlightenment. Or maybe it's because it's only 753 pages long compared to the old 1,533 page New Collegiate. I figure that's about 100,000 fewer words.

So we have committed to investing more than $3.87 for enlightenment. How much more, I don't know. Mom just called from some store and asked if I could remember an unfound word. I gave her riparian as our litmus test.

Does your dictionary include the word riparian? I'll wait while you check.

She came home with a copy of The American Heritage Dictionary and I have to say it looks pretty impressive with 948 pages of teeny-tiny print and cost only $5.99. It includes the definition of riparian. However, it did not have the first word I needed to look up - marcelled.

I wonder what an OED costs?

All Right!! Football!!

Okay, it wasn't very good football - the Hall of Fame game where the real players sit down after mailing in a few minutes on the field, but it's football at last!

I mean we've watched the "Lord of the Rings" (extended versions - all three movies), "Star Wars" (the 3 good ones), "Indiana Jones", "Hunt for Red October", "Once Upon a Time in the West", "Field of Dreams", "Oh Brother Where Art Thou", "Bull Durham" (my, my!) and part of "True Lies" (on TV). We were getting desperate.

But at last, long last there was a football game and football and big-screen High Def are made for each other. Another game Thursday and Friday the Olympics start. We made it through the drought!

Is it true...

...that if you go to Office Depot and fill out the papers for a divorce and pay them $25 you can get married while waiting on the papers to go through?

I don't know the answer, but that's what a woman asked us after stopping us in WalMart this morning.

I think we are going to shop only at HEB from now on.

Wahoo! The IRS comes through!!