Monday Meanderings 11.22.10

Very Important Announcement!

I have the answer to the airport screening brouhaha!

All we need to do is develop a booth that you can step into that will NOT X-ray you, but WILL detonate any explosive device you may have hidden on...or in your body. Naturally, the explosion is contained within the sealed booth.

This would be a win-win for everyone. There would be no racial profiling and the booth would eliminate long and expensive trials. This is so simple it's brilliant ! ! !

I can see it now - you're in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly thereafter an announcement comes over the PA system. "Attention...standby passengers, we now have a seat available on Flight Number........."

You're welcome.

And my solution is just in time. Making the rounds of the Internet is the following press release:

John Pistole, the head of the Transportation Security Administration, announced yesterday that full body scanners at airports across the nation will be seamlessly integrated with Facebook next month, allowing travelers to save, tag, and share their near-naked security photos with friends, family, and co-workers through the popular social networking site. Immediately after being subjected to a scan, the traveler’s photo will be automatically uploaded to a public album on Facebook and tagged accordingly. According to Pistole, this cutting-edge integration will allow travelers to stay more connected than ever with their social networks, letting Facebook users know when their friends have made it through airport security and if they are secretly smuggling weapons in real time.

We've grown used to hearing the "third down bell" provided by various teams across the country, but there was a new wrinkle in a game we watched the other night. We kept hearing a "beep - beeep - beeep" like a truck backing up. Turns out the home team plays that sound whenever their opponents get a penalty and get "backed up."

Next door to my Optometrist's office is that of a vet who deals with eye problems for pets. I wonder how that works?

"Can you read the bottom line?

"Arf, woof, yip, bark, arf."
"Okay. Now put your paw over the other eye. "

Got my certificate for 374 volunteer hours from Recording for the Blind and Dyslexic. Verbally.

And I leave you with a big FAIL.