Dissidence, riots and other holiday behavior

I witnessed - nay, was part of, a couple of interesting crowd interactions recently. Both occurred at the Austin-Bergstrom International airport. Outbound, we had finally achieved the TSA Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval, having performed all of the tricks required in the security theater of the absurd, and we were now comfortably waiting for our flight to be called.

All the sudden, a loud siren went off, followed by a recorded announcement that said, "An emergency has been reported. All occupants please locate the nearest stairway and proceed to the ground floor." Nobody moved. Not a twitch. We all sat there thinking, "If I have to leave, then come back through security again, I am not responsible for my actions." So we all just sat and looked at each other, wondering who was going to blink first.

Meanwhile the announcement was repeated over and over. We're all watching the Southwest gate agent, waiting to see what his reaction/action would be. He was on the phone, but didn't seem concerned, so we all took our cue from him and continued to cautiously, nervously sit there.

Finally, there was just a series of siren sounds, and the announcement stopped. So, at this point we're not sure if we are the only people left on the concourse, or the announcement equipment just went up in flames, or what. I'm looking at the exit gate, thinking, "If a wall of flame and smoke comes our way, we're going down the Jetway and taking the stairs down to the apron outside." Of course, doing that will probably land us in jail as terrorists, but at least we will not be crispy critters.

During all this, not one person made any move to leave. In about 5 minutes, someone came on the PA and said, "Nevermind. It was a false alarm" and we all looked smugly at each other, as if to say, "I knew that."

The second behavior event occurred outside the terminal after we returned, when we participated in a riot. Well, I did, anyway; Barb showed a lot more restraint. Some 3 or 4 flights had all arrived within minutes of each other, and the baggage area was jam- packed. It took a while to claim our bags and then we went outside to join the throng waiting for a shuttle bus to remote parking. It was late, approaching midnight, cold, and it appeared there were only a few buses in operation, covering the Near lots, the Remote lots, and during peak travel periods, such as this, the Cargo lot. I don't know the capacity of each bus, probably no more than 16 passengers, and there were probably 50 in our Remote lot queue alone, with more arriving by the minute.

As we waited and shivered, the muttering grew louder, and when a bus would appear and turn out to be for a lot other than Remote, the mutterings would turn to angry groans. After a period, I heard one side of several phone conversations, no doubt in response to a recorded message on the Airport Shuttle number, stating pleasantries, such as "I'll never ride your bleep shuttle again!" A couple of women had taken a more active role, stepping out into traffic to direct a bus, any bus, to our loading point, or going down to the Cargo lot bus to deliver in person messages similar to those being left on the phone.

The tipping point occurred when a Remote lot bus stopped - not at our queue - but at the end of the line closest to the Cargo lot and began taking on passengers down the way! The two vocal women immediately ran down to the bus and verbally assaulted the driver and possibly the boarding passengers. It was hard to tell what was being said to whom; I just know it was loud and angry.

It was apparently effective, because the driver closed the door and drove up to our load point, whereupon about 20 people stormed aboard. The driver is yelling at the excess passengers, the two women are giving the driver what for, and it's possible that I quietly and politely suggested to the driver that it would be prudent to get a manager on the radio, if only for her safety!

The excess passengers were off-loaded, the angry driver drove away, and we all held our breath in anticipation of what was going to happen next. Fortunately, the next bus was also Remote lot; the driver immediately took charge of the situation, 16 more of us, including one of the shouting ladies climbed aboard, and if there was a riot, we didn't read about in the paper the following morning.

Which all goes to show that people are the strangest folks I know. And Holiday cheer can be stretched to a breaking point.