Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Recalculating!

I have blogged before about misadventures with GPS devices. In fact, it was while traveling in this very same area a couple of years ago I learned that you can't always trust the GPS for the best way to go. On this trip, however, we learned that you can't even trust the GPS to get you out of town, let alone point you in the right direction!

The back story is that on our trip to California we rented a car and I added a GPS to the rental because we were driving to unvisited places on unfamiliar roads. Makes sense, right? So we pick up the rental car and I start off while Barb plugged our destination into the device. That's the way you do it right?

Let me just stop right here and state that if I had not been in such a hurry; if I had waited, or pulled over while everything got set up; if I had given Barb adequate time to get everything operable, I might not be writing this blog. But I did not, and let me be perfectly clear about the fact that I am the one that missed the crucial on-ramp to the freeway and started the whole mess.

 Having said all that, the normal expectation of a GPS unit, or "the GPS Lady" as the disembodied voice came to be known, would be to recalculate and direct us to the next opportunity to get on the freeway. But this was not a normal GPS Lady. This was more like "Mordac the Preventer of Information Services" in the Dilbert cartoons. The GPS Lady, Preventer of Driving Directions. It took us an hour to find our way out of San Jose! We toured the San Jose State Campus, we toured the barrios (are the doors locked?), we were directed into the middle of a street carnival, we were directed North, when our destination was South! At every misstep, when it was obvious we were not achieving our goal, the GPS Lady would say, "Recalculating" and send us off in a different direction!

Finally, we escaped into the countryside on a secondary road that was going in approximately the right direction. All the while, we could see Highway 101, our destination, paralleling us off to our left! We made several attempts to cut across to that highway, but did not succeed until we finally came to a small community that nestled between the two roads. There, a seventeen-year-old working at the McDonalds gave us clear and succinct directions to our target highway. At last, we pulled onto 101 and felt certain that we could get clear GPS navigation help from that point. We were so naive, so gullible.

The GPS Lady had her heart set on taking us down the old road. So much so, that she pointed out every opportunity:
    "In 1,7 miles, exit right."
    "Exit right!"  and when we did not do so...
    "Recalculating. In 3.2 miles exit right."

And this went on for 70 or so miles, until we finally got tired of her whining and turned her off. Not once! Not once, did the GPS Lady consider, "You know, they seem to want to take this other route. Let me recalculate and find them the best way to proceed down 101 instead of this little road off to the West that I do so love!"

Let me give a clear picture of just how obstinate and obtuse the GPS Lady was. Check out this map:
See the little pin at "A"? That's where we were when Barb decided to give the GPS Lady another chance. Our destination is Fresno, on highway 41, that straight stretch that heads off toward the top of the map. YOU CAN ALMOST SEE FRESNO FROM THERE! So, she plugs in the address in Fresno, presses GO and the GPS Lady says.... Wait. I'm going to let you guess. Do you see another highway on the map? The big one that goes AWAY from Fresno?

    "Recalculating."

2 comments:

pat said...

I do hope you told the rental place that the GPS needed recalculating.

C. Wright said...

I still like maps better! Jim tries to use the GPS the kids gave us, but we really end up with some funny directions.