We've joined a gym. Here's the first part of the saga.
Before Silver's Gym will let you loose in their facility, you must theoretically go through an "Introduction and Orientation." The Introduction, which is another attempt to get you signed up for extra-cost training sessions and "guidance" includes a weigh-in, tape measurements, a Body Fat Index reading, and a "Plan." We got as far as the weigh-in and the BFI before we were able to make it clear to Sales Guy that were were NOT signing up for any extras (Barb used her best Conan the Car Buyer skills - "Read My Lips").
I was going to scan the little ticket that the measurement machine prints out and include it here, but Sales Guy neglected to give us our "incomplete Plan." Besides, it's just a number, folks - no big deal. Some athletes have small numbers like 15 to 20 percent. Some of us have higher numbers. My print out said, "Only one person on the scale at a time, please."
Cutting his losses, Sales Guy took us upstairs to the "cardio and resistance" machines for our orientation. They had a bunch of treadmills and stationary bikes, and devices like stair masters, elliptical trainers, Iron Maidens, Racks and other less obvious devices. I headed for the recumbent stationary bike; Barb, who had cheated and had already been on a treadmill before her official orientation, left me with Sales Guy and headed off alone.
Note to self: Don't irritate the Sales Guy if he is also the one doing the orientation. By the time he let me off the bike I was also five cardio miles down the road! Then he drug me over to a treadmill!
Our modest home-variety treadmill lets you set a speed and then tells you how far you have walked. It is also supposed to be able to vary the degree of incline, but sometimes when you try to do that you hear a very bad noise and the lights start flashing. If you are lucky it just gets stuck on the incline.
The treadmills at the gym do all that and much, much more. They measure all kinds of statistics, count down as well as up, blow fresh air in your face, measure your heart rate and display inspirational messages. Mine kept flashing Proverbs 6:9 at me. They also have "programs" which instruct the machine to adapt the speed and incline to predetermined scenarios. Sales Guy selected "L'Alpe d'Huez" for my program, which is French for "Dead Man Walking." Seriously, these things will elevate so high you have to hang on the front bars to keep from falling off of them!
When (IF) I recover, I'll share some observations of gym life.
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1 comment:
Reminds me of my first round at the YMCA - now known as the Y. The personal trainer (free) put me through the paces, treadmill, strength building machines,etc. She kept an eye on me each time until I reached my goal in the "Fit Day" program some weeks later.
I liked the next round at the Y better. Silver Sneakers was fun - although definitely a work out. Wish I was doing that now rather than trying to convince myself to go get on the treadmill.
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