Gonna get rich quick!

Last week the Sports Illustrated Birthday Suit issue was delivered, on Valentine's Day no less.. Standard disclaimer: My wife is the subscriber to SI in this family. It is HER magazine. I can't help it if she leaves them lying around the house.

In the interest of remaining current as to the latest model of birthday suits, I felt an obligation to peruse this issue. Of course, I only read it for the articles. But I must say that something(s) caught my eye and gave me a wonderful idea for making a lot of money for very little investment!

I call your attention to page 101 where a model is wearing one half of a Bikini, somewhat covered by a pair of raggedy shorts. It's the shorts I want to discuss. Sir? The shorts. That's better. To say that these are raggedy is an understatement. They are shredded, torn, lacerated, ripped, cut, mangled, unraveled, chopped, sliced, perforated, split and incised. If you cut up a pair of jeans, bleached them, let two pit bulls use them in a fierce game of tug-of-war for a few hours, ran them through a blender, put them over, under and through a barb-wire fence and generally reduced them to dust mop status, you would have approximately the same product that the model is wearing, AND YOU COULD CHARGE $118 FOR THEM!! It says so in the fine print (yes, there is fine print).

I regret that I can't post a picture of the shorts. This is a family-oriented blog, and besides SI would probably have a hissy and cancel my wife's subscription and that would never do. Oh, no. So you will just have to take my word for the disheveled state these shorts are in.

But that's the great part. How hard is it to rip up a pair of pants and sell them for an outrageous price? I recognize that you would have to start with new jeans (they cost less than used jeans - go figure) but all you have to do abuse them to your hearts content! They don't even have to button or zip up afterwards. Obviously.

So, if you will excuse me, I'm going to go tie a bunch of pants to the back of my car and start dragging them around.