When I go to my neighborhood Super Cuts I often get a Vietnamese woman named Tran. I mean no disrespect, but even in a quiet room, sitting face-to-face, with my hearing aids turned up to super-high, I would not be able to understand Tran because of her heavy accent. None of those circumstances are present during the time I spend in the chair, so consequently I don't understand a word she says. That does not seem to bother Tran as she never stops talking, so based on inflection alone she gets a lot of "Uh-huhs," and "Hmms," and "Reallys." I'm afraid to flat-out agree to anything she says - for all I know she is asking if I want my hair in a Mohawk this time.
This reminded me...
While rising from the couch the other day I heard a faint "beep." It sounded like it was associated with my movement, so I sat back down and heard another beep. Indeed, every time I shifted my position I heard one or more beeps. This was puzzling, because couches normally don't beep. I listened carefully to see if this was a smoke alarm beeping or some other electronic device but heard no more beeps. However, when I later went out to get in the car the door was locked. Sitting on my car key remote again!
I came across a number of Undeniable Adult Truths the other day. Here are a few of them:
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. Was learning cursive really necessary?
6. Google Maps really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
7. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
8. Bad decisions often make good stories.
9. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
10. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
11. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
12. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
13. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
14. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
15. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.
One of my Elders from church sat down beside me the other evening. Here's a question. Would you seek guidance from someone wearing these shoes? Just asking.
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