Check please!

For several years we have followed a blog written by an anonymous waiter as he toiled in an up-scale bistro in Manhattan. He blogged about his nightly adventures and eventually turned that blog into a best-selling book "Waiter Rant - Thanks for the Tip" At that point he was no longer anonymous and appeared on Oprah and the Today show and pretty much quit blogging since he was famous and all and busy signing autographs and appearing on TV and such.

But the other day he posted something and I'm flat stealing it. He posted a copy of an actual check from Nello's in New York City. Here it is:

Yes, that is a mid-five figure dinner tab. That check is more than we paid for all of the houses we have ever owned combined (both of them), with enough left over to take a trip around the world! Well, if we flew steerage. People, the gratuity is $7,328 (some waiter is probably just now sobering up)! The State and City of New York collected more than $3,250 in taxes!

The most expensive line-item is the 3 bottles of La Tache Romanee Conti at $5,000 a pop. I did a little research on this and those people who are fond of spoiled grape juice have this to say about it: "The scarcest, most expensive - and frequently the best - wine in the world ... If you can lay your hands on a case - and that is a big 'if' - you would have to pay £5,000 or more for a young vintage, double or treble for a wine in its prime. ... Not only nectar: a yardstick with which to judge all other Burgundies." Woo Hoo. I could probably buy a small Pepsi bottling company for $15,000. Certainly if you tossed in the two jugs of Chateau Petrus and the magnums of Cristal Rose. I thought a magnum was an ice cream bar and the most we ever paid for those was two bucks American in El Salvador. But no, I looked it up and found out they are talking about a gallon or so of champagne.

We were in Costco the other day and I looked, and I couldn't find any of these beverages in the wine section, so I'm thinking someone is running a scam. I say that because there is another little line item for "1 Large Water - $12.00"  on the bill. Now I paid $12 for a plain old hamburger in New York a couple of years ago and I thought that was a rip-off. Paying $12 for a bottle of water has to be against the law. Get a rope.

So, I can draw two lessons from this little item:

1. Don't eat at Nello's. That's a given.
2. And if you do go out to eat in NYC, bring your own water. And don't ask for a glass to pour it in. There's probably a $6 charge. Plus tax. Plus 20% tip.