The Oil Bidness

Texas is known primarily for two things - oil and cattle. So if you want to be a true Texan it stands to reason that you need a ranch with some cattle on it and a few pump jacks scattered around the lower 40.

Well, I'm still working on the ranch, though I think the box of steaks in the freezer ought to count for something. But I've got the oil well down pat. Lease 326, Pace Unit, Stephens County Texas. That's my oil well.

Okay, it's mine and a bunch of other folks, too. I know that because my share is .00084151 percent. Ya'll, I admit that that's not a very big slice, but it's enough to receive a couple of royalty payment checks a year, and added all together it's enough to have to report on IRS Schedule E, less my 15% depletion, well-head taxes and the Property Tax bill from Mrs. Terry Sullivan, Stephens County Tax Assessor and Collector. Being in the Oil Bidness is complicated; I can just imagine how it will be when I get my ranch.

So how did I end up with 0.00084151 percent of an oil well in Stephens County Texas? Like most oilmen today, I inherited it from my Daddy, the Oil Baron. It was under the family house in Breckenridge Texas, that oil was discovered, or rediscovered, or remembered, or they finally got around to (along with a bunch of his neighbors). Him being a true Texan through and through, he was more interested in preserving the pristine grandeur of his sweeping back yard, but they finally assured him that any environmental impact was going to be several miles north on Park Street and slant-well drilling was the answer to the petroleum industry's problems. And there you have it. Instant 0.00252453 of a millionaire!

So now, when I pull up to the gas pump and contemplate paying $2.49 a gallon for gasoline, I think to myself, "Yes, but crude is up to $70 a barrel. The royalty check is probably up another .06 cents!"

It's good to be in the Oil Bidness.